Sneaking Around
by Lady Lanera
Summary: Set during the summer before Harry’s 5th year, Harry and his friends notice some strange things at Grimmauld Place when some Order members spend a week there. Will they discover Snape’s little secret concerning a certain Astronomy professor? Fluffy/Angsty
1. Shine

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a single part of this story. JK does.

**A/N: **The idea for this story actually came while I was listening to music. In fact, each chapter's title corresponds to a song's title on my playlist. This chapter's comes from Hilary Duff. It'll go back and forth between Harry and Snape's POVs, and it is probably going to be pure fluff in spots. Reviews are appreciated. Enjoy.

**Shine**

The lanky pale wizard loved summer, just not this one, unfortunately. His former sadistic master came back to life through some sort of potion, which he should have found rather ironic since he was the current potions master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He didn't find it ironic, though, not even remotely funny. No, the Dark Lord's return made him now have to resume his old spying days. In a way, it had worked brilliantly in his favor. That is, his return back into his former master's inner circle. He had managed to escape with only dealing a few bouts of the Cruciatus curse.

Now, the pale wizard was in his most favorite place of all, the official headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. Sense the dripping sarcasm. He was a member of the Order, which was a secret group founded to overthrow said Dark Lord. He secretly had been a member since the first Order, but he didn't like to tell people that for obvious reasons. Therefore, the rest of the dunderheads in the Order naïvely believed he had just joined. He had to brief Albus Dumbledore, his mentor and current Hogwarts' headmaster, about the previous night's meeting with the Dark Lord. Oh, how wonderful his life was.

It was raining when the pale wizard apparated right outside of the rundown building. He hated the rain. Actually, he didn't like many things, but rain was the worst. It always would drip down his large hooked nose, which made him feel even grumpier. It also made his long dark hair curl at the ends. Yes, he hated the rain, and he was certain the feeling was mutual.

He drew in a deep breath and calmly walked in. If Black even mentioned how horrible he looked, he was going to hex that man into next week. He was not in the mood. He sneered as he walked through the dusty hallway towards the kitchen. The whole house looked utterly decrepit and about to fall in at any moment. He noticed the muttering house elf off to his side cleaning something.

"Ah, Severus, you've finally arrived," Albus Dumbledore, a wizard in periwinkle robes with a long white beard, happily said from his seat at the head of the table.

"I apologize for my lateness, Headmaster," Severus calmly replied as he sat down. Within seconds, the frizzy dark-haired witch in black robes handed him a cup of steaming dark liquid. He didn't even mutter a thank you before he brought the warm cup of coffee to his lips to drink. He sighed as soon as it reached his stomach and warmed him to the core. He then set the cup back down and slightly inclined his head towards the witch. She didn't notice, though.

"Have you learned anything more about his plans, Severus?"

"No, Headmaster," Severus replied quietly. "The Dark Lord is still being very secretive with his plan. However, it does appear as if he is trying to reach something. At this point, my best guess would be the prophecy concerning Potter." He watched the thoughtful look pass over his mentor's face.

"Ah, yes, I fear you may be correct, my boy." Albus then glanced towards another wizard who wore shabby looking robes. "Remus, have you heard anything from Harry this summer?"

"No. He's been rather quiet. I mean, he writes every day, but—I am worried, Albus."

"I'm sure Potter's fine, Lupin," Severus drawled quietly before taking another sip of his coffee. Another wizard with a pinstripe waistcoat and long wavy brown hair responded.

"He's been writing us every day, Snape, and we can't even write him back. How do you think he'll take it when he learns that his best friends are here while he's stuck in that hellhole?"

"Perhaps he will learn something from it, Black."

"Oh, yeah, and what's that, Snape?" the wizard snarled back.

"That the only person you can count on is yourself," Severus replied quietly. He then sighed. His coffee had cooled off and tasted rather horrible now. He pushed it away in disgust. "The boy will be fine, Black. There is no need for you to worry. If I am correct, I believe the Headmaster has ordered Miss Tonks and Moody to fetch him this evening." He then glanced towards Albus who slowly nodded. "You'll be with your precious godson soon enough."

"He watched a classmate of his die, Snape! I get that you're a heartless bastard, but—"

"Perhaps you forget, Black, that he is not the only one who watched people die this summer."

"Fine," Black growled. "But I haven't forgotten that he is just a boy."

"Boys, that's enough," the frizzy dark-haired witch harshly scolded across from Snape. "We have better things to do than to debate this all night long." She then caught a redheaded witch's eyes. She sighed heavily when the witch understood and left. Harry Potter had come to Grimmauld Place.


	2. Underneath this Smile

**A/N: **Chapter title is from Hilary Duff again. I must say I'm enjoying writing this so far. It's definitely different from what I'm used to writing. Enjoy. :)

**Underneath this Smile**

Harry Potter was a small thin boy with messy black hair. Everyone whoever met him always said that he was the spitting image of his father, except his eyes. His eyes were brilliant green, and he had inherited them from his mother. Voldemort, or the Dark Lord depending on who you were talking to at the time, had killed both his parents nearly fourteen years ago. The dark wizard now was after Harry again, since he failed the first time. Voldemort's failure had left a dark scar, not only on Harry's life with the deaths of his parents, but also in the form of a lightning bolt on his forehead.

Harry sighed heavily as Mrs. Weasley, a redheaded witch, gently pushed him up the stairs. He hated his life. He couldn't escape his horrible nightmares even when he was awake, and everywhere he looked people plotted against him. When he opened the door to the bedroom, a witch with long bushy brown hair threw her arms around him. He had to admit it slightly annoyed him. First, not a single person in his life wrote him all summer long, and now everyone acted like it was perfectly acceptable. He couldn't understand why he was so angry all the time. He guessed it was still grief over what had happened before summer when he watched Voldemort murder his classmate, Cedric Diggory. He wished it would all go away, the pain, the fear, the anger. He was so bloody tired of everything.

Harry forced a smile on his face as he faced his two best friends, though. It wouldn't help anything if they saw the ugly side of him. He needed them just to stay sane. He glanced around the small bedroom. He had no idea where he was. The only thing he knew was that four people, one he recognized as Professor Moody (the real Professor Moody), burst into his bedroom before taking him to this place.

"So, you two both look well. Good summer," Harry sarcastically asked. He scoffed as his words echoed back to him. He sounded like Snape.

"Oh, Harry, we wanted to write you, but—"

"What! You forgot my address, Hermione?" Harry sneered. He could feel his anger coming back. "Yeah," he scoffed. "That's what I thought."

"Hey! Don't talk to her like that!" the redheaded boy yelled.

"I'll talk to her any damn way I want, Ron!" Harry yelled back.

It was as if it wasn't even him speaking anymore. Harry felt like he was someone else, someone horrible. All the time, he felt all of his anger bubbling in him, waiting to explode. Unfortunately, his temper exploded right there in front of his two best friends…soon to be ex-best friends the way he was speaking. He couldn't hold it back. It just spewed out of him.

"Dirty filthy little Mudblood," Harry sneered with a look of disgust on his face. Seconds later, he felt someone painfully yank him out into the hallway. He slammed against the wall and came face to face with a very pissed off Severus Snape.

"Never use that word, Potter!" Snape snarled in his deathly quiet voice. His black eyes were coals as he glared at the young man in front of him.

"Make me," Harry replied matching Snape's tone. He immediately smirked when he caught the man's shock. He then felt himself lifted up off the ground before being close enough to touch noses with Snape. "Come on, you miserable bat! Make me!" he snapped. He immediately cried out when the man yanked him again before dragging him back downstairs. In the inside, Harry was slightly scared. He had never really seen Snape that ticked off before, but he was just _slightly_ scared.

"Get out of the way, Black!" Snape roared as he and Harry burst into the kitchen.

"What in Merlin's name!" Black then drew his wand and pointed it at Snape. "Unhand my godson this instant, Snivellus, or I'll—"

"You'll blow the house down, Black?" Snape sneered. He then yanked the boy closer towards him before opening the boy's mouth. Potter tried fighting him every step of the way, but Snape had the upper hand. Deciding that it was probably safer to use a spell than to pour the soap in the boy's mouth, he spelled it into the boy's mouth. Little soap bubbles immediately bubbled out of the boy. The bubbles then vanished after a few seconds when Snape saw the remorse in the boy's green eyes. "If I ever catch you using that wretched term again, Potter, you won't just have soap in your mouth. Do we understand each other?" The boy slowly nodded. "Good. Now apologize to Miss Granger." He released Potter and folded his arms across his chest. "That is unless you would like me to 'make you' again, Mr. Potter?" The boy immediately fled the room. All of his anger quickly left him as he went do as Snape asked.


	3. Sound of Madness

**A/N: **Song comes from Shinedown. I'm pretty sure I have Severus out of character in this chapter. Sorry. Enjoy, though.

**Sound of Madness**

Two days later, Snape sighed heavily as he entered Grimmauld Place. Albus had called for another meeting. He hadn't the foggiest why, though. The Order hadn't done anything for the past few days. The Death Eaters weren't much better. It was positively boring everywhere. He immediately noticed the glare directed at him from Black, who was probably still upset that Snape had spelled soap into his godson's mouth. However, the boy needed an attitude adjustment, and he didn't see Black offering it anytime soon. He sat down and let his head slump against the table. He was bloody tired.

"I apologize for waking all of you, but I wished to inform you all that I have a mission planned."

_Oh, goody,_ Snape thought sarcastically. _I do certainly love a good mission, especially when these morons complete it. That is, if they complete it, and that's a big if._ He then glanced around the table to pick who it was. He had established this little ritual a long time ago. He was usually right.

Snape knew it wouldn't be that idiot Black because Dumbledore was keeping him close to Potter. It wouldn't be Lupin because it was too close to the full moon. Perhaps Arthur, but Snape couldn't think of a single reason why Dumbledore would send him. He then sighed as he noticed the young witch with bubble-gum colored hair. He knew for a fact Tonks and Moody would be there because there was hardly a mission without those two involved. Glancing through his dark curtain of hair, he looked at the frizzy dark-haired witch in dark robes sitting next to him. _Aurora,_ he thought silently. _He won't pick her because she's as clumsy as Tonks. We might as well as be flashing a sign at Voldemort 'look here, Order members'._ He quietly chuckled at that particular thought. It would certainly make his meetings more interesting.

"What are you looking at, Snape?" Aurora harshly snapped as she glared at him.

"Obviously nothing since that is what you are, nothing," Snape drawled before glancing back to Dumbledore. He caught the man's damn twinkling blue eyes.

"Awe, poor Snape. Was there a little light in your bat cave this morning?" she asked cynically.

"Shut up, Sinistra," Snape growled. This is why he hated sitting next to the infuriating witch. She wouldn't ever shut up. He then sighed softly before nodding at something Albus said. Truthfully, he didn't really catch it. He knew what his job was. He had to spy on Voldemort. That was it. That was his one job, and it sucked royally.

"Thank you. You're all dismissed," Dumbledore loudly announced.

The Order immediately scattered into their social cliques. Most of them grabbed some food and headed back to the table. Others left to head back to their jobs like Arthur Weasley, who worked at the Ministry of Magic. Snape, on the other hand, sighed and walked towards the upstairs room. Truthfully, he didn't really know why he wanted to see what the horrid boy was up to, but he had sworn to protect the little brat. He noticed the shut door and rolled his eyes before knocking gently against it.

"Professor Snape," Hermione immediately exclaimed as she opened the doors.

"Clearly," Snape drawled before he glanced in the room. His dark eyes immediately found the boy playing Exploding Snape with the Weasley boy. "Mr. Potter, may I have a word with you in private?" He watched with amusement as Weasley opened his mouth to protest only to have Granger yank him out of the room. When the door shut behind the two, Snape felt the tension in the room jump. The boy had still refused to turn around to look at him. "It has come to my attention that you are not your father." He caught the boy's soft snort. "Yes, I know. Fairly obvious to everyone but me," Snape replied. "I apologize for all of the things I have done or said to you these past years."

"Why now, Snape?" asked the soft voice of the small Gryffindor.

"Because you deserve to hear the truth, Potter," Snape replied quietly.

"Oh god…you're not…you can't be serious, Snape." The boy then hung his head dejectedly.

"I haven't a clue as to what you're freaking about, Potter," Snape said briskly.

"You're going to tell me that you're my father, aren't you?"

Snape's mouth dropped. The boy seriously was suffering from some undiagnosed mental disorder if he thought that! He opened and closed his mouth several times before finally speaking again.

"No," Snape harshly snapped. "You are James Potter's spawn. I assure you of that, Harry." He then noticed his slip-up. _Uh-oh,_ he thought as he watched the boy's green eyes glance at him. _Dammit_. Therefore, he did what any person would do and fled the room as fast as possible. It could wait.


	4. Take Me Away

**A/N: **Okay, so I know I'm having way too much fun writing this story since I just finished writing five more chapters today. :) Either way, thanks and enjoy. The song comes from Avril Lavigne.

**Take Me Away**

Harry lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling, several hours later. He hadn't talked to Hermione or Ron about Snape's odd behavior. He still felt rather numb. Everyone in his life always left him. First were his parents because Voldemort murdered them. Then were the Dursleys who never wanted him in the first place. Nowadays, Dumbledore refused to speak with him. The other members of the Order always came up with elaborate excuses, but he knew that it was all they were, excuses. He sighed heavily. Lastly was Snape, who just confused the hell out of Harry.

Harry's eyes then narrowed as he recalled the past few days. Snape was rather…nice to him. Well, not super nice, but he was rather civil towards Harry at the very least. He sighed again. Snape had said that Harry deserved the truth. What truth was that, though?

"Hey, Ron, have you noticed anything odd about Snape?" Harry finally asked around two in the morning. He heard the soft grumble from Ron's bed before the other boy spoke.

"How so, Harry?"

"Well, he's been…nice to us." Harry immediately caught Ron sitting up and staring at him with big eyes. "Yeah, I know, Ron. It's just…well…it's odd."

"Maybe he got hit with a Confundus Charm?"

"That's a hell of a Confundus Charm, Ron," Harry quipped. He then noticed the light under his doorway. His eyes narrowed, and he motioned to Ron to be quiet. They heard a door farther down the hall open and close. "Who do you think that was?"

"Can't be Remus," Ron responded. "Heard him and Dad speaking earlier that Remus had to go on a mission for the Order," he explained.

"Well, Sirius has been asleep for ages."

"Maybe it's Hermione?"

"What?" a soft voice spoke from the far corner. Both boys let out a startled cry before one of them ended up on the cold floor.

"What are you doing here?" Ron quietly hissed as he got to his feet to climb back into bed.

"Your mum asked me to move in here for a bit," Hermione replied sleepily. She was slowly waking up. She sat up and glanced at both boys. "I think someone from the Order was hurt tonight, and they needed my bed. They're being hush-hush about who it was, though."

"There must have been another raid," another voice spoke up from another part of the room.

"Fred? George? What are you two doing here?" Harry asked. He was rather surprised to hear the Weasley twins' voices. It led him to wonder who else was in the room with them.

"Mum kicked us out of our rooms. Ginny is here too," George whispered back.

"Well, did you guys see anything before you got sent here?"

"Yeah," Fred quietly whispered. "Whoever it was that was hurt was badly bleeding. Looked like they got hit with some curse too," he said. "We couldn't see the person's face, though."

"Maybe it was Snape," Ron whispered back with a hint of amusement. "It'd be nice not to have to see that git this year at school." He then softly laughed before a hand grabbed his wrist. He instantly screamed out and stated flailing his arms around wildly.

"As it would be pleasant not to have to see you this year either, Weasley," a familiar silky voice whispered quietly before the hand released Ron's arm.

Ron's eyes widened as he recognized the tone. He was dead. No. He was beyond dead. He gulped and glanced down. It was just his luck.

"I'm sorry, Professor."

"I bet you are, Weasley," Snape drawled. "Mr. Potter, come with me."

"It's not Sirius, is it?"

"No," Snape replied. "Black is fine as is Lupin. However, I believe I asked you to come. I do not have nearly the patience for your usual lollygagging tonight." He then watched the small boy get out of bed and walk to him. He glanced in the darkness towards the rest of the Gryffindor gang. He could sense their distrust. "I will return Potter relatively unharmed so there is no need for you to do some foolish act of heroism. I swear on my Wizard's Oath that I will not hurt, maim, or kill Harry Potter." He then whirled around and walked back out into the hallway with Harry following quietly behind.


	5. Slipped Away

**A/N: **Another Avril Lavigne song. :)

**Slipped Away**

"Please sit, Mr. Potter," Snape said as soon as they were in his rooms. He waved his hand towards the various candles throughout the room, which instantly made them flicker to life with warm flames. He then calmly closed the door to give them privacy. In the light, he caught the defensive posture in the boy immediately. The boy was alert and seemed to be ready for an attack. "I already gave my Wizard's Oath, Harry. You have no reason to fear me." He then caught the boy's eyes narrowing. "I must admit that over the years I have harbored certain grudges that I regrettably passed onto you. I apologize for this. Now, I am sure you are wondering why I called you here so early in the morning."

"You want to tell me the truth about something," Harry replied before sitting down in a chair.

"Yes." Snape inhaled deeply. "The Headmaster believes that you need to learn Occlumency because there seems to be a connection between your mind and the Dark Lord's. I am to teach you this, Potter." He noticed the boy's confusion. "To learn Occlumency properly, there must be a certain level of trust between the teacher and his student. Frankly, we don't trust each other. Anyone who has ever seen us together knows this fact. Therefore, no amount of effort I put forth would make a bit of difference."

"So you're trying to establish trust between us, Snape?" Harry asked.

"Yes." Snape then sighed heavily before he too sat down. "You may ask me anything you wish for an hour. I have also included some memories that I wish you to view. However, there will be no questions about the Order."

"Any question? So I could ask you why you hate me—"

"And I would answer."

"Truthfully or not, Snape?" the boy asked curiously. He wouldn't put it past Snape to lie.

"I thought we would hit this little snag," Snape drawled with a soft smirk. He then pulled out a little familiar bottle. He handed it over to Harry. "I trust you know what this is?"

"It's the stuff you were going to give me last year, Veritaserum."

"Indeed," Snape responded before leaning back. "Then you recognize that by my giving it to you is as an act of my trust. I will drink it if you wish me to." He narrowed his eyes when Harry handed it back. He quietly pocketed it and sighed. "You do not trust me, Potter. I have never given you reason to."

"No, but consider it an act of faith on my part."

"You are so like your mother," Snape quietly mumbled. He knew the boy heard him.

"All right, so I just ask you a question." Snape nodded. "Okay, why do you hate me?"

"I do not 'hate' you. I merely dislike you. Your father and I were much like you and Mr. Malfoy. We did not get along. Before you ask, I believe it stemmed over my friendship with your mother. Your father did not like that I was friends with her so he decided to intimidate me into leaving her alone."

"You were in the same year as my parents?"

"Yes. I was in Slytherin, and your parents were in Gryffindor, which you already knew."

"How…how did you know my mother?"

"I grew up with her. I had watched her from afar in the park with her sister and noticed her doing magic. She was not enthusiastic when I told her that she was witch. She believed I was insulting her. We became friends after that. However, it ended our fifth-year when I called her a particularly nasty name. I had lost my temper and lashed out at her. She ended up with your father after that."

"You loved her." It wasn't a question, just a statement.

"Yes. I did everything I could in my power to protect your mother from the Dark Lord. I failed, though, and as a result, you became an orphan because of my mistake."

"You didn't kill them, Snape. He did."

"No. I gave him the reason to go after your parents. I…I regret that I was the one who gave the Dark Lord the prophecy concerning your birth. If I had not done that, your parents would still be alive. However, I…I wanted to fit in badly somewhere and I thought with the Death Eaters I would. When he told me that he would go after your family, I knew. I pleaded with the Dark Lord not to hurt her. I regret now that I didn't care what happened to you or your father, but I loved her, Harry. I even went to Albus and begged him to protect her. I admitted that I was a Death Eater, which made him look at me with disgust. None of it helped, though. I might not have casted the curse, but I am just as guilty as he is. That is what I wanted to tell you, Harry." Snape then sighed. "However, you must know that I am now bound to an Unbreakable Vow to protect you, which means if I fail to protect you, I too will die."


	6. Serenity

**A/N: **The song is by Godsmack.

**Serenity**

The next morning, Harry groaned as he woke up. Everyone that had been in his and Ron's rooms the previous night was gone. He sighed softly before throwing the covers off. He guessed they were downstairs eating breakfast, but he had to admit that he wasn't hungry. He knew that nobody would allow him to hang out upstairs all day, though. He quietly got dressed before heading downstairs to the kitchen. He immediately smiled towards Sirius when the wizard glanced towards him.

"How'd you sleep, kiddo?"

"All right," Harry replied quietly. He then sighed when Mrs. Weasley put down a plate full of pancakes, eggs, and bacon down. He really didn't feel like eating now. It did look delicious, but his stomach lurched at the smell. He knew he couldn't handle food quite yet.

"Perhaps a stomach calming draught is in order, Mr. Potter?" the silky voice across from him spoke. A small bottle then slid carefully in front of Harry.

Harry immediately glanced towards Snape. The wizard, however, didn't look up from whatever article he was reading in the _Daily Prophet_. Harry quietly grabbed it and uncorked the bottle before taking a sip of it. His mouth dropped. It didn't taste as horrible as it usually did.

"Did you experiment with this, Professor?" Harry heard the soft snort, but Snape didn't respond. 'Thank you, sir." He then felt Mrs. Weasley gently place her hand against his forehead. It felt rather nice to have someone care for him. However, Harry guessed that Snape did in a way also. It just was more subdued than Mrs. Weasley's approach.

"Well, I don't feel a fever, dear, but you are a bit peaky this morning." Mrs. Weasley then glanced towards Snape. "We're lucky to have Severus here." Another snort came from behind the propped up paper. "Severus, I mean it. I'm almost certain that last night…well…you know." She then bustled herself off towards the living room.

Harry took a few bites of his eggs. He was right. They were delicious. He then glanced towards Sirius who was having a quiet conversation with Remus. Both wizards caught his eye and smiled towards him before carrying on. He then looked around the kitchen. He didn't see any of the Weasley children nor Hermione. His eyes narrowed slightly before he glanced towards the propped up paper. It was also unusual that Snape would join them for breakfast. The wizard hardly ever remained.

"Sir, is something going on?" Harry asked quietly. He watched Snape fold the paper down before giving Harry a hard look. The paper then propped back up. He sighed. He should have known Snape wouldn't give him anything.

"Mrs. Weasley gave them chores to do while you were sleeping in," Snape replied, a few seconds later, from behind the paper. "Though, I don't recommend you joining them." The paper then came back down before Snape stared at Harry again. "I take it that by your casual 'all right' earlier that you suffered another nightmare last night?"

"No, sir," Harry replied quietly. As per their tentative agreement reached the last night, Harry had told Snape about his nightmares. The man said very few words then, but gave him a bottle of Dreamless Sleep with orders to take it as soon as he reached his bed. "I didn't dream anything."

"Ah," Snape said before pushing the paper towards Harry. "The _Prophet_ has some rather kind words about you in it today." He then pointed towards the headline.

"What! But I'm not lying!" Harry yelled as he read it.

"There's no need to convince any of us, Potter."

"I know, but…well, how can they do this?"

"They are the Ministry. By definition, they are imbeciles."

"They're going to get all of us killed," Harry muttered.

"Perhaps, but it is not them we need to worry about, Potter." Snape then sighed before glancing up. "Ah, good morning, Bella," he said with a smirk as a frizzy dark-haired witch in long blue robes walked into the kitchen. Within seconds, he watched the witch flick her silver wand at him. He waved the spell away effortlessly. "Now, now, Bella, there's no need for that."

"I am not Bellatrix, Severus, so quit calling me that or you're going to be without a certain part of your anatomy," the witch snarled. She then sat down at the far end of the table and winced as she grabbed the milk for her cereal.

"Ah, my apologies then, Aurora. However, one cannot blame me when you have that same crazed look and rat's nest for hair as Bella." A red jet of light immediately flew out of the witch's wand before being waved away by Snape again. The rest of breakfast was a rather quiet event.


	7. Let It Die

**A/N: **Foo Fighters.

**Let It Die**

Dinner wasn't any better. Snape glanced at the boy from where he sat across from Potter again and frowned. The color still hadn't returned to the boy yet. However, he understood what was causing the boy so much distress. He learned nearly every secret his professor had. The boy obviously was still digesting the information. He then sighed as he inclined his head towards Arthur Weasley who passed a bowl of potatoes to him.

"Um…Professor?" whispered Potter.

"What is it, Potter?" Snape then watched the boy motion with his eyes towards the other members who had joined them for dinner. "I'll explain later." He frowned again as he noticed that the boy was barely eating. If they were going to have their first Occlumency lesson later, it would mean trouble if the boy hadn't ate anything. "Eat, Potter. You need your strength."

Snape then noticed how hypocritical he was being. His plate was rather empty also. He sighed and added some more food to it. He calmly ate not glancing towards the boy until he felt a sharp kick under the table. His eyes narrowed into slits. If that foolish boy thought Snape was going to be at his beck and call now, he had another thing coming. However, he noticed the glassiness in the boy's green eyes. Something was wrong.

"Come with me, Potter," Snape quietly said. He then stood up and excused himself from the table. He walked around the table towards the door to take the boy back upstairs away from prying eyes. The boy wasn't moving, though. Snape groaned loudly. Of course, the boy wouldn't make this easy. He gently walked back to the table and pulled Potter to his feet. Potter didn't seem to be snapping out of whatever state he was in currently. Snape immediately felt everyone's eyes on him and Potter. "I'll take care of it." The boy then started to go limp in his arms. "Wonderful," he drawled before picking the boy up and carrying him out of the room. "You're a serious pain in my ass, Potter." He heard the chaos ensue behind him, but he rushed up the stairs with the limp boy in his arms.

As soon as they reached his rooms, Snape set Potter down on top of his bed. He quickly whirled around and grabbed a vial of clear solution from on top of his nightstand. He opened the boy's mouth and poured the liquid into his mouth. His hand then pushed the boy's mouth closed, and he carefully massaged the boy's throat. He closed his eyes when the boy swallowed it. The glassy look in the green eyes started to vanish. Snape conjured a bucket and sighed when the boy retched into it.

"Feel better?" Potter didn't respond, though. Instead, the boy retched more violently. Terrible shakes then shook the boy's small frame. Snape grimaced before he gently rubbed circles on the boy's back to calm him down. "It is not you, Potter," Snape softly spoke. "You are not killing them."

"How…how do you—"

"I have much more experience in this than you, Harry." Snape then made the boy look at him. "Also, as your friend Mr. Weasley constantly points out, I am a heartless git."

"But…but you have to…you have to feel something, Snape."

"I block all my experiences so I don't, Potter. It is how I've stayed sane for so long. The day that I feel anything will be the day I die, either from murder or by suicide. There is one emotion I allow myself to show, but I believe you know that one quite well." Snape caught the boy's soft scoff.

"I've seen you amused before, Snape."

"Fine, you've seen two emotions. I'll see if you can get an Order of Merlin first-class, Potter," Snape quipped. He softly scoffed at the boy's words. He wasn't truly the bastard everyone made him out to be. He just had a role to play. The sadness then reentered the boy's green eyes.

"How can you…how can you just stand there and watch them die?"

"As I said, I block all my experiences when I am near the Dark Lord. However, I must admit my barriers do on occasion fail me. It is those days where I am at my worst, regrettably."

"What do you do on those days?"

"That, Mr. Potter, is private, and it will not help you in this case."

"Oh," Potter replied quietly. He should have known.

"I can't believe I'm telling this to you of all people," Snape growled, a few seconds later. It was those damn green eyes, though. In a quiet voice, he said, "I take comfort with a certain lady friend of mine. That is why it won't help you. Now, go to sleep." He desperately wanted to escape the boy's eyes before he admitted who his lady friend was. "Go to sleep."


	8. Can't Get Out of My Head

**A/N: **Song is by Tin Star, I think. Enjoy.

**Can't Get Out of My Head**

Harry woke up the next morning to someone muttering quietly in an adjacent room. He opened one eye and immediately gasped when he recognized the rooms weren't his own. It was too dark for his rooms. He was still in Snape's rooms. He gulped as he rapidly fired off thoughts. However, he instantly sighed when he realized he was still wearing everything.

"I take it you slept well, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked rather amused as he leaned against his wall.

"Um…yes, sir," Harry replied hesitantly. "Why am I still here, sir?"

"Because I didn't think it would be wise to send you back to your rooms last night in your state of mind. You do not have to concern yourself over anything. I did not remain here with you last night. So your asinine thoughts may cease. You were alone the entire night."

"Oh," Harry said frowning.

"Dear Merlin, don't tell me you wished me to spend the night listening to you snore? Mr. Potter, I am your professor. There are certain boundaries that even I won't cross. Even if I was not your professor, what makes you think I would be attracted to you?" Snape smirked when he caught the boy's shudder. He had to admit it was rather fun to scare the boy every now and then. He'd hate it if they became too accustomed with each other. "I was summoned last night. I take it you did not see this?"

"No, sir," Harry replied shaking his head. "Can you not ever say anything like that again?"

"Only if you promise not to think it, Mr. Potter," Snape quipped. "Now, kindly get the hell out of my bed. I believe you've graced me with your presence long enough this morning."

Harry quickly flew from the bed and headed towards the closed door. However, he stopped just before and turned towards Snape, who seemed to be looking through a drawer in his desk for something. He watched the man before sighing.

"You're not even tired, are you?"

"I am, Potter. I'm just not showing it." Snape then glanced towards him. "I thought I told you to leave anyways." There was a hint of annoyance on his face, but otherwise Snape looked relaxed.

"You told me to leave your bed, not your rooms."

"Go bother someone else, Potter. After all, I doubt you'll need me rescuing you from Molly Weasley's famous omelet."

"You're not coming?"

"Just because you know my loyalties now and perhaps harbor some form of trust for me, Potter, does not give you the right to think that I will follow your every command. I protect you, Potter, not serve you. In any case, I would much rather remain up here this morning. After all, as you so kindly pointed out, I have not slept. Now, unless you can think of some reason why you would need me downstairs, I would greatly appreciate it if you left me alone for the next twenty-four hours. That is—"

"Unless Headquarters is being destroyed, I'm being kidnapped or killed, or the Headmaster needs you," Harry recited quietly. "Yeah, I got it. Can I have a stomach calming draught again?" He caught Snape's raised eyebrow immediately.

"If you wish," Snape replied before summoning one. "However, we are going to deal with this not eating of yours tonight during our lesson. I take it you haven't read the book I gave you?"

"No. I've read the first two chapters. It doesn't make sense, though."

"Have Miss Granger help you. If she is not available, then speak to Professor Sinistra. She should be able to help you. Granted, it is probably way out of the league of that witch's vocabulary, but she should be able to help you with the Latin. Otherwise, there is always Lupin. Now, if there are no more questions that need answering, I bid you good day, Mr. Potter."

Harry nodded before walking out. After grabbing his heavy Occlumency book from his room, he walked downstairs and glanced around the kitchen. Only Professor Aurora Sinistra, the frizzy dark-haired witch who taught Astronomy, was sitting at the table. Her dark eyes caught his as she glanced up.

"Good morning, Mr. Potter. They're all doing a bit of cleaning this morning." Harry's book then thumped loudly onto the table as he sat down. "So that's why Severus is here," Professor Sinistra said, motioning towards the book. "Where is the old bat anyways?"

"Upstairs, sleeping," responded Harry. He heard a soft 'of course' from the direction of his Astronomy professor, which made him laugh. "Do you think you could help me, Professor? I can't understand any of it." She only nodded.


	9. Bad Moon Rising

**A/N: **Thanks for the favs, alert adds, and reviews. I'm glad everyone is so far liking this story. The song, of course, is by CCR.

**Bad Moon Rising**

A day later, in the dead of night, the familiar burning feeling seared his left forearm. Within seconds, Snape awoke and groaned before slapping his right hand against the black stain on his soul that would never wash off. The Dark Lord was summoning him again. Pushing the pain back into the far recesses of his mind, Snape quickly dressed in the proverbial pain in his ass Death Eater robes. The horrid things felt so heavy now because it remained a constant reminder of what he lost. He placed his silver skull-like mask on and drew up his black hood to make himself not so easily recognizable.

Unfortunately, Snape caught his reflection in the mirror as he did this action. It was sickening to see. While it was not there physically, he could clearly see the dark memories play out across his mask. However, he quickly shook those thoughts away. He had made his choice, and he only had himself to blame. Perhaps in the end, every horrid thing he had ever done, whether it was participating in Muggle hunting or 'proving his loyalties', he'd make up for it. That was one reason he was protecting Potter. The son of his childhood tormentor was going to be his salvation.

As soon as he apparated to the clearing, Snape groaned. The weather was as vile as he felt. The rain pelted him as if it was hail. Thunder roared all around the clearing while a fierce wind whipped his hair around when his hood fell. Violent lightning struck nearby structures and rattled the ground. The whole scene looked as if it was Armageddon.

"Severus," a bald wizard with a snake-like appearance hissed. A bolt of lightning struck miles away from him, but looked as if it was right behind the wizard.

"My Lord," Snape responded before dropping to a knee and bowing his head. Within seconds, he felt his mask vanish. _Oh, lovely, he's in one of those moods tonight_, Snape thought dismally.

"It is lovely weather we seem to be having tonight, isn't it, my favorite?" Voldemort hissed before letting a finger trail down Snape's face.

"Not entirely, my Lord," Snape quietly replied. He hated it when the Dark Lord touched him like that. He knew the Dark Lord meant it to be a reward, but it always made Snape feel dirty. Once, he had nearly rubbed his face raw trying to get the feeling off his face. That was until she came and found him sitting on his shower floor watching his blood run down the drain. Snape quickly banished that thought. He couldn't think about her, not now.

"I suspect you're wondering why I called you here tonight, aren't you, Severus?" Voldemort then quietly chuckled. "Rise, my son," he commanded. "I have a special reward for you tonight."

Snape slowly rose and carefully schooled his features. The Dark Lord seemed to be in a good mood, which Snape knew wasn't a good thing. He then watched the others walk out of the trees towards them. He didn't see any Muggles, so Muggle Hunting and 'Proving his loyalties' were out. He quietly wanted to mutter a soft 'thank Merlin' for that. However, his eyes then caught a familiar witch. _Oh, not her_, _anyone but her, _he groaned in his head. This night was just getting worse and worse as it went on.

"Hello, Severus," a witch with frizzy dark hair whispered sultrily. Her dark eyes darkened before she walked towards him suggestively. She ran her tongue under her top teeth before she let out a soft little giggle, which immediately proved just how crazy she was.

"Bella," Snape drawled. He then felt her slide her hand into the small opening of his robes. When her nails raked against his bare skin, he forced himself not to stiffen or any other emotion that showed how disgusted he was by her actions. "I see that Azkaban hasn't changed you." _Liar,_ a familiar voice yelled in his head. She then leaned up and captured his lips. He blocked it all to ensure he didn't suffer from nightmares the rest of his life. He knew everything Bella was doing was an act. They never once trusted each other. She hated him because he was a half-blood, which he had no qualms over. He hated her because she was crazy sadistic witch. He guessed her reason for acting tonight was that she only wanted to get him alone to kill him.

"Oh, Severus, how I have missed you," Bellatrix whispered before pulling back. "I've always loved it when you called me Bella. It makes me feel so special. Rodolphus doesn't say that to me."

"And where is your dear husband?" Snape asked politely.

"Not here, my dear sweet Severus." Bellatrix then glanced towards Voldemort. "May I have him now, my Lord? We have so much catching up to do."

"Of course, my dear," Voldemort hissed with a soft smirk. "Enjoy yourself tonight, my son."

_Yeah, not going to happen,_ Snape thought as Bellatrix yanked him away. _I hate my life._


	10. Burn it to the Ground

**A/N: **Nickelback. Enjoy. :)

**Burn it to the Ground**

Meanwhile, Harry finally woke up from his terrible nightmare. He had stopped himself from screaming, but his throat was still raw. The images were awful. He shook his head violently in efforts to shake them out of his mind. He glanced towards Ron and sighed. Luckily, Ron was still asleep.

Creeping quietly, Harry walked across the cold hardwood floor towards the door. No noise came from the door as he opened it and headed towards Snape's bedroom. He quickly glanced around before knocking softly on the closed door. He didn't hear any noise, though. Prior to his opening the door, his eyes narrowed, but he walked into the dark room nonetheless. Almost immediately, the candles in the room spelled themselves on. However, Snape wasn't anywhere in the room.

Harry glanced towards Snape's bed and sighed. The man had been sleeping at some point, but left in hurry. Voldemort had summoned Snape again. Harry was just about to head back to his room to wait when his eyes noticed the half-empty potion bottle on Snape's nightstand. Curiosity took over. He calmly walked over to it and picked it up. He carefully pulled out the stopper and sniffed it. However, he didn't smell anything. Then it hit him. Snape probably left it for him to drink in case he came into Snape's room as he had. He guessed it was probably a new combination of Dreamless Sleep.

Glancing towards his and Ron's room, Harry sighed. He didn't really want to go back there and risk waking Ron. He sighed and walked over to the small divan against the far corner. He quietly pulled his robes tighter around himself before drinking the liquid. However, instead of tasting rather sweet like usual, the potion tasted bitter and burned as it went down his throat. He coughed and choked for a few minutes as it hit his stomach. He then waited for the potion to put him to sleep. It didn't, though. Instead, his vision became rather blurry. He started to wave his hand in front of his face and blinked a couple of times to try to make the second hand go away. It didn't, though.

Harry's mouth then opened widely as he realized his mistake. It wasn't Dreamless Sleep. He went to go to his feet, but fell to the floor with a loud thud. Uncontrollable laughter rolled out of him seconds later. He didn't know why he was laughing. If anyone found him, he knew he was going to be in deep trouble. How was he supposed to know that it wasn't Dreamless Sleep, though? He then saw eight pairs of feet in front of him. He could hear someone talking about it sounded like the person was talking through a very long straw.

"I…I…no…understand," Harry slurred before laughing again. He sounded rather hilarious.

"Dear Merlin, he's drunk."

Harry understood that voice rather clear, and he had to agree. He was drunk. The voice sounded amused so it wasn't Snape. He glanced up. His hand dazedly reached out to pet one of the eight heads. He couldn't recognize who it was, but he knew he wanted to touch the person's hair. It was soft. He then saw the smile on the person's face.

"What…drink, Kiddo?"

The person sounded a bit like Sirius, but Harry couldn't be sure with the way the voice cut in and out. Harry, however, held up the empty bottle. He felt the person take it out of his hands. A sharp whistle then pierced his ears, which made him groan loudly. Someone then patted his back before helping him to his feet. He couldn't really walk, though. It was as if his whole body was on a different frequency than his mind. He felt himself be dragged out of Snape's rooms.

"Is…going…all right?" another straw voice asked.

"…Sleep," the voice sounding like Sirius responded.

"Snape…going…kill him," a soft voice spoke from Harry's side.

Harry's eyes widened at the words. In his extremely drunken state, the words sounded to him like the people were saying they were going to kill him. He immediately tried backing away from the people. He drew his wand and waved it around. Truthfully, that probably wasn't a good move. A wave of nausea overcame him. However, he swallowed it back. Someone then moved closer towards him.

"Expel…mouse," Harry yelled. His eyes then narrowed. That wasn't right. "Expel…moose," he tried again. Within seconds, he heard the roaring laughter from everyone who was in the room with him. He then watched someone pluck his wand from his hands before someone lightly tousled his hair.

"It's…right, Kiddo," the Sirius-like voice said. "You're going to…hell…tomorrow."

Harry hung his head. He closed his eyes. These were the days where he really hated his life.


	11. New Divide

**A/N: **You guys are so amazing. Do you know that? I love reading your reviews and seeing how many people have added it either to their alert lists or favs. I didn't realize this story would be such a hit. The song's by Linkin Park. Enjoy.

**New Divide**

"Poor Severus, poor sweet Severus," Bellatrix exclaimed in her singsong voice as they walked towards the trees. Her hand was still grabbing his outer robes and dragging him.

Biding his time carefully, Snape allowed her. It wasn't as if he wanted to go anywhere with that crazy witch. However, he knew if he cursed Bellatrix right then in front of the Dark Lord, it wouldn't be his wisest move ever. So being the patient Slytherin he was, he waited.

A sharp wolf whistle from the trees caught his attention, though. Snape's eyes darted towards where he heard it. He knew Bella heard it too because she visibly stiffened and released him. A bright white light then appeared, which meant only one thing, the Order had arrived. He nearly groaned when he noticed the all-too familiar frizzy dark-haired witch who apparated in front of Bellatrix and him.

"Hey, Bella," Aurora Sinistra replied before she threw a punch towards Bellatrix. Offhandedly, she flicked her hand towards Snape. She didn't check to see if her spell hit him or not, but she did hear a soft groan. However, her attention snapped back to Bellatrix within seconds.

"_**AVADA**_—" Bellatrix screamed as soon as she hit the ground.

"_**Flipendo**_," Sinistra yelled back. It caught Bellatrix off guard and threw her a good five feet. "Want to try again?" She watched the witch's eyes darken. "You may have got an 'O' in Dark Arts, Bella, but I got an 'O' in Defense." She threw up a quick Protego when she saw the red jet of light heading towards her. "Oh, that's just pitiful, Bella. My third-years can cast better spells than that."

Snape glared at Sinistra as he tried to wiggle himself out of the damn ropes she casted on him. He couldn't believe the nerve and arrogance of that witch. She taught Astronomy for Merlin's sake. While he would admit that she did seem to be holding her own against Bellatrix so far, he couldn't help but wonder how long that sheer blind luck would last. He had first tried his magic to cut the ropes, but Sinistra somehow had managed to make it so that didn't work. Suddenly, the ropes loosened, which gave him enough slack to yank the horrid thing off him. However, his head immediately whipped to the two frizzy haired witches locked in a duel to the death when he heard his spell. He couldn't tell which one casted and which one got it as they both fell to the ground in the mud. Neither witch moved.

Snape scrambled to his feet towards them. He slipped at least a dozen times in the mud before he finally reached the two witches. He cast a quick Lumos to see which one the spell hit. His eyes uncharacteristically widened when he realized both witches had casted the spell at the same time. In the mud and darkness, both witches looked alike so he didn't know which one was Sinistra.

"Who's known for the heliocentric system?" Snape shouted. Only Sinistra would know that, and he knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself from answering.

"Copern—" a weak voice to Snape's right rasped.

Snape immediately picked the witch up and started to recite his counter curse. He concentrated all of his magic on healing her. A few seconds later, he heard her soft coughing.

"That was very foolish of you, Sinistra," Snape harshly hissed.

"I…I still won, Severus."

"Only because it's my bloody spell and I know the bloody counter curse," Snape bellowed. He then reached a hand towards Bellatrix and calmly pressed his forefingers to her carotid artery. There was no pulse. He sighed heavily before he slowly got to his feet. "Why was the Order here?"

"Dumbledore," Sinistra started to say before groaning. "He learned that Bellatrix escaped and thought you might be in trouble. Ministry's not reporting her release, though."

"Of course," Snape drawled. He then glanced down towards the pale witch who tried and failed to get up on her feet. He sighed heavily before he offered her a hand. He silently pulled her up and groaned loudly when she stumbled into him. There went his idea of not getting any more mud on his robes. "I take it your sidekick isn't here tonight?" His hands didn't move from her back as he held her.

"If you're referring to Tonks, she's here. I think her and Moody are up ahead with the rest of the Order. I saw you with your little girlfriend there and thought I should save you."

"How nice of you, Sinistra," Snape replied before glancing to the clearing. The raid was over. He wondered if the Dark Lord caught any of this before fleeing, but he guessed not. He then turned back and caught her dark eyes on him. Her muddy hand reached up and gently touched his cheek before apparating away. The mud was dry already. "Damn you, Aurora," he muttered before he too apparated.


	12. Lifeline

**A/N: **As always, thanks for the reviews and adds. The song is by Papa Roach. Enjoy.

**Lifeline**

Back at Grimmauld Place, Harry smelled the blood in the air as he drifted in and out of his drunken state. Nightmares and reality melded together, which made him rather confused as to what was actually real. On the one hand, he felt like he was safe in his and Ron's rooms. However, he kept smelling blood and death. Both of which he knew weren't in the rooms. He heard distant screams, but he knew no one was screaming. He was stuck in his waking nightmare.

No one was in the room anymore. Harry guessed Sirius had asked Ron to room with his brothers for the night so Harry would sleep undisturbed. However, nobody had counted on his nightmares flaring up. Tears streaked his cheeks as the nonexistent screams and blood became more prominent in his head. He wished someone would stop the voices, but Snape wasn't back yet. Harry knew Sirius wouldn't understand. The only person who would wasn't back yet. He muffled his cries of agony as he felt the harsh burning feeling of an imaginary Cruciatus. The excruciating pain lasted for nearly a minute before Harry's body relaxed again.

Using every bit of strength he had left, Harry tried to focus on the room. He didn't want to feel anymore. He didn't want to hear anymore of his terrible nightmares. He tried a couple of the exercises the Occlumency book suggested. He first tried a breathing one, but it didn't work. It only made him more nauseous as the thick smell of blood surrounded him. His breathing quickened instantly. He then tried to think of happy memories, but the memories swiftly turned into vivid images of what he smelled and heard. He was losing the battle.

For a few moments, Harry snapped out of his nightmare as he heard familiar muttering from further down the hallway. Snape was back. The man didn't sound too happy, but Harry didn't care. So far, Snape was the only one who could get him out of this state. In other words, he knew that if he reached Snape, the blood, the screaming, the pain, the fear, the cold, the sense of death would be gone. Drawing in a deep breath of the acrid air, Harry rolled himself over. He immediately groaned at the sharp pain he felt after hitting the floor. The pain helped clear his mind for a few seconds, though. It was all he needed before he stood up and ran as fast as he could after the man.

However, in his drunken state, that took some finesse to accomplish for Harry. The floor kept moving as did the objects in the room on him. To Harry, every step he took towards Snape's rooms felt like it was the equivalent of a mile. Nearly ten minutes later, he finally reached Snape's rooms. The man wasn't anywhere in sight, though. He had to bite back the urge to groan loudly. He wasn't _that_ lucky.

Harry glanced around the rooms. He noticed the muddy boots by the bed so Snape was back. He wasn't hallucinating that, unlike the piercing screams. His eyes then caught a light shining from underneath a door. _Snape_, Harry loudly exclaimed in his head. In his current state, he didn't think before reacting. He immediately leapt towards the door handle and opened it.

Within seconds after stepping into the well-lit room, Harry fell flat on his back. He heard himself loudly cry out as he hit the white tiled floor. The warm air surrounded him as the screams in his mind increased dramatically. To his right, he heard a sound of something snapping open. It sounded like it was in the distance. When in all actuality, it was just a few inches from his head. However, the screams and voices in his head drowned everything out. They were all screaming for him to help, but he knew he couldn't. There were too many of them screaming at him. He couldn't focus on reality. He was losing himself to the screams, and he knew it.

_Focus on me,_ a firm voice spoke in Harry's mind, seconds later. _Ignore them, and listen to me, Harry. Focus on the sound of my voice._ The subsequent screams and voices started to soften._ You are safe. You are at Grimmauld Place. They cannot hurt you._ In response, several screams pierced the darkness of his mind.

"Please…" Harry whimpered as he curled himself inwards on the floor. It took a few minutes before a soft touch registered in his mind. Someone was trying to comfort him, but the screams were still winning. "Make…make them…them stop, Snape," he moaned while he heard the screams and voices in his head repeat that it was his fault they were dead. He opened his eyes to escape the faces of people he knew and people he didn't know. However, they were still there. Their cold unforgiving eyes stared deep into his soul. Harry's heart then lurched at the hallucination of his parents standing across from him staring at him with the same look on their face as the others. "I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I'm so sorry."


	13. Breaking Inside

**A/N: **Song is by Shinedown.

**Breaking Inside**

Snape inhaled the rich smell of vanilla as he poured his shampoo into his hand. He desperately wanted to rid himself of all the filth that had collected on him due to his little outing. He had just finished rinsing out his hair when he heard the loud cry from the other side of the shower curtain. His temper quickly flared to life as he yanked back the top part of the curtain to see who it was that had interrupted his shower. His eyes widened at the sight of Potter lying on his back. He could see the pain in the boy's eyes. Feeling certain that the boy had no idea where he was, he quickly robed himself before walking towards the boy's side.

Snape quickly entered Potter's mind. The loud screams pierced his ears instantly as he found himself there. He tried to push them away, but it only made them scream louder. He glanced around the scene the boy was hallucinating in his mind. It was battle of some sort, but he couldn't recognize any of the landmarks. However, he did recognize the dead that were sprawled all around the battlefield. It featured mostly everyone the boy ever knew. The Weasley twins were to his left. Granger hung from a tree to his right. In the distance, he saw Dumbledore lying on the ground surrounded by half of the staff and students. Snape quickly closed off all his emotions when he came across the bodies. He could feel the dark magic swirling around in the air. He then found the small boy huddled behind a headstone as the dead surrounded him screaming for Harry to help them.

"Focus on me," Snape said in a firm voice in Harry's mind. The boy didn't acknowledge him, though. "Ignore them, and listen to me, Harry. Focus on the sound of my voice." The dead that surrounded the boy slowly became quieter. "You are safe." _Please, Harry. Believe me,_ Snape thought. While he'd never admit it to anyone, the entire grisly scene was souring his stomach. "You are at Grimmauld Place. They cannot hurt you." He then grabbed his head as the dead howled at his words.

He could hear the boy's pleas of his help, which he was trying desperately to do. He then felt something throw him violently out of Potter's mind. His eyes narrowed before he noticed the boy curling into the fetal position. Acting on pure instinct, he calmly grabbed the boy and pulled him against him. He wrapped his arms around the boy and hugged him tightly.

"It's all right, Harry. It's all right," Snape whispered in the boy's ear. He felt helpless as he held Potter. His mind raced with ideas, but every one of them had a drawback. At the sound of the boy's sobs, Snape's teeth grit and his eyes closed. He was losing the battle with his emotions, just as Harry was losing the battle with staying sane. An idea then popped into his head. He may not be able to pull the boy out of his nightmare, but he was able to alter it. He threw a quick shield around the boy before making Potter face him. When emerald met onyx, Snape cast his spell.

Within seconds, Snape felt Potter in his mind. He sighed and concentrated on the memory. It was the only memory he had that didn't involve him and James Potter fighting. He felt an immediate reaction from the boy, but he allowed the memory to play out.

In the memory, James flew loops around the stands on the Quidditch Pitch on his broom. It was during Winter break, and the snow was falling heavily. For some reason, he had decided to stay back that year. He was the only one of the Marauders to do so.

Snape was watching James from the Astronomy Tower. He wasn't quite glaring or sneering at the arrogant Gryffindor, but he wasn't smiling either. He was just watching him. James hadn't spoken a single insult all holiday break to him. It was disconcerting to say the least. He had expected at least a prank or two, but the Gryffindor for some reason would only fly or spend his time in Gryffindor Tower. Fed up with the silence, Snape stormed down there to give that toe rag a lecture and maybe a few hexes.

However, the minute Snape reached the pitch was the exact second James slumped off his broom. He watched the Gryffindor falling fast towards the hard ground. Reacting on pure instinct that time also, he casted a feather light charm on his tormentor. James calmly floated to the ground and into the snow. Snape watched him for a few moments with his wand still drawn as he waited for the Gryffindor to hex him. Nothing happened, though.

The memory then sped forward to when the boys were in the Hospital Wing. James had a haunted look on his face. Snape didn't understand why, nor did he care to figure it out. However, he did silently leave the Gryffindor a chocolate frog before heading to his dorms. The memory then ended, and Snape pulled the boy close again. He didn't really know why, but knew it was something he had to do.


	14. Never Too Late

**A/N: **The song is by Three days Grace.

**Never Too Late**

"Dad?" choked out Harry with his hiccupping sobs. The embrace made him feel so safe that he didn't want it to be withdrawn ever. He cried into the deep folds of the black bathrobes and clutched them tightly. He knew he was acting irrational. His father was dead. He had been dead for fourteen years, but he couldn't ignore the feeling in his gut especially after seeing that memory.

Lately, Harry always felt so alone, but now he felt as if someone was there for him. He knew that his emotions were seriously clouding his judgment and thoughts. However, he didn't care. Unlike most of his classmates, he didn't know what it felt like to have someone who cared for you or, dare he say it, loved him. The only one that had ever been close enough to him like that was Mrs. Weasley, and that was probably only because she had been best friends with his parents when they were alive. He was rather certain that the feeling he had now deep in his chest and gut proved that he had someone who cared for him, though. In fact, it was someone that he didn't have to share with anyone else.

"Calm yourself," whispered the voice as a hand gently rubbed circles against Harry's back. "You are safe. You are at Grimmauld Place." Silence then echoed around for a few minutes. "They cannot hurt you because they are not real. You know this. You are safe, Harry. You are safe."

"I…" Harry then drew in a deep breath to calm himself. The fog in his mind started to lift. He smelled the rich vanilla and other familiar herbal scents on the black bathrobes. His eyes narrowed as he tried to place where he knew that scent. It then dawned on him. Within seconds afterwards, he realized that he was clutching onto Snape and bawling like a baby. His face instantly reddened in embarrassment. He couldn't believe he did that. He pulled back from the man and felt a slight ache in his chest as the hands left his back. His shiny emerald eyes stared straight into Snape's eyes. "I believe you."

"How do you feel?"

"Tired," replied Harry quietly.

"Come with me." Snape then helped Harry to his feet before wrapping a supportive arm around Harry's waist to lead him out of the bathroom. The two walked back into the dark bedroom. Snape's arm suddenly withdrew, and he stepped back from Harry. His entire stance screamed with discomfort as he stood a few feet from Harry. "Unfortunately for me, you are not in any condition to go back to your rooms." He then waved a hand towards the bed, which instantly made the bed fresh again. "Take it," he motioned towards the huge four-poster bed. "I will not be using it tonight."

"But, sir, it's your bed, though!" Harry exclaimed.

"Yes. I know that, Mr. Potter. However, if I allowed you to return to your room with Weasley, I would be failing in my role." Snape then inhaled deeply before narrowing his eyes on Harry. The relaxed face he had once before quickly morphed into an angry one. "Mr. Potter, why is it that you reek of alcohol? Have you been drinking?"

"Um…well…uh…" Harry stuttered. His eyes then darted to the floor. Nervously, he crossed his right foot over his left. "I thought you left me Dreamless Sleep," he whispered in the softest voice he could. There was no way that Snape didn't hear that. Seconds later, he felt the anger that radiated from the wizard. "I'm sorry, Snape."

"I take it that you drank the bottle on my nightstand?"

Harry nodded. When Snape didn't reply, Harry glanced up to see the wizard's reaction. He immediately grimaced when he saw Snape's frown deepen as he glared at Harry. He could imagine several different ways this scenario could turn out. Either Snape would revert to his old ways by giving him the most scathing lecture or he would express his extreme disappointment. Either scenario made Harry feel a bit sick to his stomach, but that could be the alcohol again.

"Then you _will_ be sorry in the morning. If you think for a moment that I'll give you a potion tomorrow, you are seriously mistaken then. Now, lie down before you pass out on me. I refuse to help you anymore than I already have tonight. You already took my bed, and I am not giving you any more reason to take my dignity with you."

Harry sighed quietly before he slowly walked towards the bed. He didn't think he could feel any worse than he already did. When he sat down on the edge of the bed, he glanced back towards Snape. If he had been a house elf, his big floppy ears would have been drooping at that point.

"Go to sleep!" Snape growled. "We'll discuss your atrocious behavior in the morning."


	15. Through Glass

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews/adds. Hope you enjoy. ;) The song is by Stone Sour.

**Through Glass**

Two hours later, Snape stood up from the chair he had been sitting in. His entire back was sore. He quietly navigated around the massive bed where the pain in his ass Gryffindor happily slept in. He gently pulled back the curtain from the window and glanced out. He groaned inwardly when he noticed the shadowed familiar figures sneaking towards the front door.

Shaking his head, Snape walked away from the window and to the closed door. Three in the morning was a wonderful hour to have an Order meeting. Of course, he should have guessed. They did have a successful raid, so it was only natural that Dumbledore would call a meeting to inform everyone.

Snape was just about to turn the doorknob when he heard the soft muttering behind him. He sighed heavily. He turned back around and glanced at the boy. Rolling his eyes and softly growling, he walked back to his chair that was next to the boy's bedside and resumed his watch. He knew that if he left the boy alone, he would regret it in the morning. In terms of sanity, alcohol, especially that type of alcohol, on top of nightmares weren't a good combination for anyone. He could only guess how horrible the boy's dreams were at this point. The Order would just have to wait. Otherwise, their great savior would become a catatonic savior.

Five minutes later, Snape felt a familiar light touch on his shoulder. He didn't glance up to look at the person. He only sighed and shook his head softly. His dark eyes remained watching the Gryffindor toss and turn as Harry slept.

"Dumbledore's asked for you," the soft voice whispered.

"Yes, well, as you can see, I have my hands full, Sinistra," Snape harshly hissed. The boy's tossing and turning was becoming more violent, which could only mean that the nightmares were becoming worse. He wished she would just leave so he could calm the boy. However, knowing her, she wouldn't be able to take his hint.

"So I see, Severus. However, I'm just relaying—"

"Mission accomplished, Sinistra. I am informed. Now, kindly get the hell out of here."

"You don't have to be such an ass to me all the time, Severus."

"Leave, Sinistra."

"No. Dumbledore wants you to be at the meeting tonight."

"Tell him to wait."

"I am not telling—"

"I do not have time for this," Snape growled.

Without thinking, Snape angrily flicked his wrist towards her. When he heard the door close a few seconds later, he glanced where she had been. His eyes narrowed when he didn't see her. He didn't have time to dwell on what had happened, though. He needed to calm the boy down. He leaned over the young boy and gently placed a hand on the boy's damp forehead.

"You are safe, Harry. You know this. It isn't real." He sighed as he heard the boy's soft whimpers. He wasn't calming him. The infuriating instinct rose up in his chest again. For the second time that day, he quickly pulled the boy against him into an embrace. "Know that you are safe. He cannot harm you as long as I am with you." He heard more whimpers escape from the boy's lips. "Fight him, Harry," he said while he absentmindedly brushed back strands of the boy's hair. "As long as you fight him, he cannot hurt you. Fight him." Slowly, he felt the boy start to relax in his arms. A few moments later, he sighed heavily as the boy started to breathe evenly again. "Good boy."

Snape then gently released the young Gryffindor and laid him back down on the bed. He sat down in his chair again and resumed watch. It was rather absurd that he was having those sorts of feelings for the boy, especially now. However, he knew why he felt the way he did.

Snape had to start being honest with himself. Harry was not James, and he never would be. No matter how much Snape wanted that to be true. There was too much of Lily, his Lily, in the boy. He closed his eyes and hung his head as the painful memories stabbed at his heart. Then there was also the part that spoke the most to him, which forced him to relate to the boy. The part that he couldn't and didn't ever want to be true, but knew that it was. He sighed heavily and stared at the sleeping boy.

"All this time I thought you were like James, but you were more like me than your own father. I won't let you become me, Harry. You deserve better."


	16. Down with the Sickness

**A/N: **Enjoy. The song comes from Disturbed.

**Down with the Sickness**

When Harry woke up, he immediately grabbed his head. It was pounding, and every sound amplified by at least five times its normal sound. He could feel warmth surrounding him, but he was too tired to figure out what it was. He drew in a breath to steady himself. Almost instantly, he gagged, though, as the bile in his stomach lurched upwards.

As more of the gagging took over, Harry quickly rolled onto his side. However, he rolled too far and fell hard onto the floor with a big thump. Now all sprawled out on the cold hardwood floor, he groaned loudly before crawling army-style towards the bathroom. After two minutes of this futile attempt, he finally sighed and just lay flat on the floor. The coolness of it helped to calm his stomach somewhat. He stayed there for nearly five minutes in pure undisturbed peace.

However, as all good things much end, so did his temporary nirvana. Someone nearby loudly and harshly cleared his throat. Heavy footfalls then headed in Harry's direction before a very blurry face came into Harry's line of sight. He couldn't help it. The poor Gryffindor's nausea caught up to him, and he couldn't hold it back in time.

While vomiting violently, Harry's ghostly appearance slowly bled red as he flushed from embarrassment. He wouldn't kid himself. He knew precisely whom he had just gotten sick all over, and, unfortunately, it wasn't the nice grandfather-like headmaster. As soon as he regained control of his gag reflex, he hung his head and groaned quietly.

"Are you finished? Or is there going to be an encore to that lovely appearance?" a sarcastic voice drawled. There was no amusement in the man's voice. "After all, you haven't covered my entire boot with your vomit yet." Silence followed for a few short moments before the man sharply inhaled. "Why must I continue to torture myself with your ungodly pain in the ass self?" he said aloud. "Surely, I have paid enough for my sins to last a lifetime."

"I'm…" Harry's voice trailed off as he felt another dangerous lurch of his stomach.

"Oh, shut up, Potter. Don't continue to delude yourself any further to think you're the only one in the universe who has ever vomited on someone's shoes." Another sudden sharp intake of breath followed. "I suppose it was my fault. I should have intervened earlier. After all, had you not experienced some nausea, I would have been marginally concerned."

Harry then felt a slight tingle pass over his body as the vomit disappeared. The young man quietly hung his head. This day really couldn't get any worse, but he knew it would. Drawing up all of his Gryffindor bravery, he lifted his head up to meet Snape's eyes. The man, however, wasn't angry. He wasn't even frowning.

"Well, now that you aren't so atrocious looking, perhaps a shower is in order, Mr. Potter?" There wasn't really a choice involved. "Do try not to drown yourself while you are in there. I truly do not wish to be the one to tell the headmaster that his savior killed himself in the shower. After all, I believe we both know that the Order would consider me the first suspect in your untimely demise. Although, I do believe I have just cause in this instance. You did drink my entire bottle of Fairy Ice." Snape then quietly growled under his breath before glancing back at Harry. "I doubt you even realize how unbelievably lucky you are to be alive this morning." He shook his head for a moment before sighing again. "You have no idea how disappointed I am because of your appalling behavior last night."

"I'm sorry, sir," Harry replied in a quiet voice. He didn't want to withstand the worst of Snape's lecture anymore. Truthfully, the tone the older wizard was using made Harry's stomach lurch even more, but it felt different this time than all other times when he was in trouble with Snape. Could it be that Snape's disappointed tone was affecting Harry so much?

"Oh, I have no doubt you are sorry now," Snape responded. His tone was even. In fact, he looked rather calm as he stared at Harry. "You need to realize that your actions have consequences, Harry." He then drew himself up to his full height before going into intimidation mode. "Since I am sure that my lecture is not having its desired effect, you will write a four-foot essay on Fairy Ice. I expect to have it in my hands by dinner tonight. If you do not, then you should expect a very severe punishment. Is that understood, Potter?" Snape didn't even wait for Harry's response. Instead, he whirled around and walked out of the bedroom.

"Yes, sir," Harry quietly whispered. He felt even worse now.


	17. Crashed

**A/N: **Song is by Daughtry. Enjoy.

**Crashed**

A few minutes later, Snape briskly walked into the kitchen. No one was around, which he thanked Merlin. There was no way he could face any of the Weasleys this early in the morning. He'd surely kill one of them accidentally. He walked over to the opened cupboard and pulled out his familiar black coffee cup before quickly spelling some coffee into his cup. The rich dark liquid slid down his esophagus rather swiftly as he took a long gulp. Overall, he felt like crap. Of course, that could have been from either his amazing evening with a sadistic wizard or spending the rest of that night taking care of the Boy-Who-Drank. Sighing heavily, he sat down at the table. In a rare show, he allowed his head to hit the table with a loud thump. He made no sound for a few minutes. Instead, he remained with his head against the heavy oak table in utter silence and solitude.

Nearly two hours later, a soft touch to his shoulder woke Snape up. His head snapped up before he glanced around. He hadn't meant to fall asleep. His eyes quickly darted towards the person who had caught him. He silently hoped it wasn't a Weasley. If it were, he'd never live it down.

"They'll be coming down soon for breakfast," Sinistra quietly spoke as her eyes met his.

Snape didn't respond. Instead, his eyes narrowed on the dark nasty bruise on the side of her face. It looked as if she had slammed against a very large tree at high impact. Without realizing that his hand was moving, he gently turned her face so he could see the bruise better. He winced in sympathy. He knew she had to be in excruciating pain. As he moved a part of her outer robes back to inspect her neck, she remained perfectly still and silent. The dark bruise trailed down even further before it disappeared underneath her shirt. His dark eyes quickly darted towards hers.

"Explain," Snape said through clenched teeth. He knew without a doubt that there were probably more injuries scattered about her slender pale body.

"What's to explain?" Sinistra snapped back. She was shooting daggers at him now. "After all, you're a smart man. What do you think happened, Snape?"

"Someone assaulted you," Snape stated flatly. She remained deadpanned. "You did not have these lovely marks last night when you came to me. Therefore, you received them afterwards. It was not I who made those marks on you, which means you went on another mission last night." Her lips thinned even more. His eyes narrowed on her peculiar reaction. She seemed like she wanted to yell at him, but he couldn't understand why she would. Anyone with half a brain could see that someone had physically assaulted her. Logically speaking, his conjecture made the most sense.

"You know I went on a mission last night," Sinistra quietly snarled. "You had to heal me, remember?" She then angrily shook her head before whirling around. "Bastard," she muttered under her breath. "I should've known."

"Forgive me," Snape responded sarcastically, "but just what should you have known?" He winced slightly when Sinistra whirled around. That sudden movement had to have hurt her. Her eyes were black as coals as she glared at him.

"You honestly don't know?" Sinistra growled.

"I believe I have already stated that I do not, Sinistra," Snape replied through clenched teeth. She was really starting to anger him. He couldn't understand why she didn't just answer his damn question. He knew from experience that victims of physical assault usually avoided the question, but she was taking the avoidance to a new level. Closing his eyes to escape his temper, he drew in a breath. He then reopened his eyes and glanced back at her. Perhaps he should switch tactics since this attempt was failing horribly. "It is not a sign of weakness—"

"What do you know about weakness?" Sinistra snarled. "You escape everything with your little Occlumency. I bet you even did that after your lovely and pathetic—"

"Redirect your anger to someone else. I did not harm you," Snape interrupted.

"Keep believing your own lies, Snape." Sinistra then whirled around again before storming out of the kitchen. The door slammed shut behind her.

As soon as the sound echoed back to him, Snape saw a brief flash of a memory from the previous night. His eyes widened as he saw himself fling his arm towards Sinistra. He now knew what had happened. He had unleashed a bit of powerful, uncontrolled magic at her. He had done that to her.

"Forgive me, Aurora," Snape whispered as he stared at the closed door. "What have I done?"


	18. Breaking the Habit

**A/N: **The song is by Linkin' Park. Enjoy.

**Breaking the Habit**

Five hours later, Harry sat silently on top of his bed with his knees drawn up to his chest. Unshed tears hid behind his green eyes. He had finished with his quick shower and his punishment essay already. He even had handed his essay in to Snape. The older wizard had said nothing to Harry, though. He only dismissed him as if Harry was nothing.

Therefore, as Harry stared off into the cold shadows of his room, he felt his mood darken. Everyone else was downstairs in the kitchen eating. However, he hadn't felt like eating with them. After all, he knew that bad boys like him didn't deserve to eat.

Harry had broken the rules, and his Uncle Vernon had taught him the true meaning of punishment. He couldn't understand why Snape only made him write that stupid essay. He had nearly killed himself. He had nearly ruined everything the Order had tried so hard to protect, so hard Snape had tried to protect. He sighed heavily. It was his fault. It was always his fault because he was a…a…a freak. His loving relatives had taught him that. Someone could connect everyone who had ever died back to Harry some way or another. It was his fault. It was always his fault.

_Why do I even bother_? Harry thought to himself. _They leave me. They all leave me._ He then sighed heavily before he hung his head. His depressing thoughts weren't helping his mood. _First were my parents. Sure, Voldemort might have murdered them, but it was because of me. Snape showed me that. I'm the one to defeat Voldemort._ Stifling his emotions, he drew in a deep breath. _He should have just killed me the first time. None of this would be happening otherwise. Hell, everyone would even be happier if I was gone. Snape wouldn't have to pretend. The Weasleys wouldn't need to spend so much time here at Grimmauld. It would be better. I'm sure of it._ A soft knock on his doorframe made the melancholy young man's emerald eyes dart to the sound.

"Mr. Potter, are you done brooding yet or should I return? After all, I am at your disposal whenever you need me. Am I not?" Snape's face was relaxed, but his tone was biting.

Harry didn't respond, though. He already felt like a kicked puppy. He sighed softly before he glanced to the floor. There wasn't much more Snape could say that wouldn't make Harry feel any worse than he already felt. The young man sighed heavily. He couldn't understand why it was always him bad things happened to. It was the way things were, though.

"Perhaps you did not hear me," Snape said in an even tone. "Are you done brooding?"

"Yes, sir," Harry replied quietly. He hung his head even more. His day wasn't getting any better.

"Then follow me," Snape said as he turned around and walked towards the hallway. He quickly turned around when Harry didn't follow him. "Mr. Potter, is something wrong with your hearing?"

"No, sir," Harry responded.

"Then come here!" Snape hissed.

"Yes, sir," Harry meekly said before rushing towards Snape's side. He then lowered his head and glanced towards the floor. "I'm sorry."

"Potter, do I look like I care?" Snape barked.

Harry lowered his head even further until his chin rested against his chest. He then repeatedly apologized in rapid succession. He needed Snape to understand that he was sorry. However, Snape became even angrier every time Harry, even more sincere than the last, apologized.

"Potter, enough!" Snape yelled after the hundredth time of Harry apologizing. The older wizard then ran his long slender pale fingers through his shoulder length raven hair before he sighed heavily. "There is no need to apologize to me several dozen times, Harry. I understand and appreciate that you regret your behavior last night, but that is done and over with. Now, come."

However, Harry didn't move. He remained glued to the floor. He knew that it wasn't helping the situation any, but he couldn't shake the feeling out of his bones no matter how hard he tried. Harry's bright emerald eyes continued to stare at the floor. He couldn't face Snape's wrath, not now.

"I'm sorry," Harry quietly whispered as he withdrew into himself even more.

"You are trying my patience, Mr. Potter. If you utter one more apology, I will hex your tongue off. As I stated before, it is over." Snape then calmly walked towards the young Gryffindor.

"No it's not. It's never over." Harry's voice was barely above a whisper now. "It's never over for the…for the…the…" When he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, he glanced up and whispered, "Freak."


	19. I Won't Back Down

**A/N: **Song is by the late and great Johnny Cash, of course. The original Man in Black, but Severus comes in second. :) Enjoy the next four chapters.

**I Won't Back Down**

Snape was unprepared for the raw emotion that came off the young man standing in front of him. He immediately gasped and took a step back. His eyes then closed temporarily as he quickly threw up his Occlumency barriers. He took a shuddering breath a few seconds later before he glanced at the young Gryffindor.

Never before had Snape felt so much revulsion, hatred, and disgust at one's self than he did with the young man in front of him. When he was convinced that he was in control of his own emotions again, Snape stepped forward. His eyes narrowed on the Gryffindor. He gingerly reached out and set his hand on Harry's shoulder once more. The young man didn't even skitter away, which was what Snape expected. Instead, Harry remained perfectly still staring at the floor.

"What makes you believe that, Harry?" How gentle his voice was immediately surprised Snape. However, he knew from experience that he was treading on dangerous ground so it shouldn't have been too surprising. Something had unhinged the young Gryffindor so severely, and Snape knew he had to be the one to find out since things like this always fell on him to clean up.

"That's what I am," the young man whispered back.

"That most certainly is not what you are!" Snape harshly rebuked before he pushed Harry's chin up so that he could look into the emerald eyes full of pain. "If it were truly the case, then you are claiming that I also am a freak. Since we know that not to be true, then you are severely incorrect."

"It doesn't matter."

"On the contrary, it does in fact matter, Mr. Potter. You are a wizard. There is nothing unnatural about you." That statement got a definite reaction from the young man. Unfortunately, it was a rather violent reaction.

"Yeah, well, tell that to Voldemort, Snape, because he tends to disagree with you." The normally kind emerald eyes that Harry shared with his departed mother quickly darkened. The young man then clenched his teeth together and balled his hands into fists. A slight rumbling overtook the room as a bout of uncontrolled magic came from Harry. "Why else would he try to kill me?"

"You know the reason, Harry. It was because a selfish fool decided to deliver half a prophecy to him without thinking of the meaning or consequences." Snape then wisely remained quiet before he revealed more. He watched the emotions quickly flood across Harry's face. He saw first anger, then sadness and despair, followed by a surrendering look.

The look of submission horrified Snape the most. He had given his word on his wizard's oath standing in front of Lily and James Potter's graves fourteen years ago to protect their only son to the best of his ability. However, he knew now that as long as Harry had no fight left in him that Snape might as well just have delivered Harry to the Dark Lord. After all, Snape himself had submitted himself to whatever would happen to him in the Dark Lord's presence at one point in his life, and look where that got him, a tattoo on his left forearm, tainted magic, and liters upon liters of blood on his hands that would never wash off no matter how hard he washed them.

"I apologize for the role I played in your parents' deaths. I would gladly give my life for theirs." Snape added silently in his head, _if anyone deserved happiness, it would surely be you, Harry._

"Don't," croaked Harry softly. "Don't say things like that." He then whispered barely above a hiss, "You'll just make me think I'm normal."

"You are normal, though, Harry." When Snape caught Harry's immediate protest, he clarified. "What I mean to say is that you are normal in the sense that you are a fourteen-year-old wizard attending one of the most prestigious Wizarding schools in all of Europe."

"My parents are dead, though."

"As are mine and in a way as are Longbottom's parents," Snape quickly replied. "Death is the natural way of balancing life. The Dark Lord—"

"Why do you call him that? You don't really serve him."

"Very well," Snape drawled before he rolled his eyes. "Voldemort disrupted this, however, but I believe that by the end life will be restored to its rightful place. After all, anyone can choose darkness, Harry. Those who choose to live in the light are the strongest because they do not give into temptation." He then sighed softly. "Perhaps we should have an Occlumency lesson tonight. I will return shortly."


	20. Giving In

**A/N: **The song is by Adema.

**Giving In**

As soon as Snape left the rooms, Harry quickly fled to the window. He was rather surprised that Snape had tied the heavy drapes back allowing sunshine in. However, so far today the man seemed to be full of surprises. Harry glanced out the window and looked out onto the street. A few children were out playing a game of pickup hockey in the street, but for the most part, it was rather dead outside.

Harry allowed himself to let his mind wander. After all, he had nothing better to do while he waited. He sighed quietly and ran through his list of regrets. He had just reached his regret about not punching Malfoy in the mouth last year when Snape reentered the room.

However, instead of wearing his normal long black robes as he had been doing so far this summer, Snape now wore his white undershirt and gray pants with long flowing majestic silver and emerald Slytherin robes. In fact, Snape seemed to be more relaxed now that he wasn't in any black.

"Are you ready, Mr. Potter?"

"If I say no, what will happen?"

"Then I will wait until you are," Snape calmly replied.

"But we don't have time for that," Harry exclaimed.

"No. We don't, but I will not push you anymore. You must want to learn, Harry. I cannot do this for you. I ask you again. Are you ready?" Harry nodded. "Very well, Harry. Then block me like before."

Seconds later, Harry felt the horrible pain roar itself to life as it did whenever he practiced Occlumency. However, he did as Snape had instructed. He did his very best to ignore the pain. He focused on pushing Snape from the memory of the Mirror of Erised. It didn't work, though. Instead, Snape only delved deeper into the far corners of his mind. Soon, the splitting headache became worse, much worse. In fact, it became so horrible that Harry could barely see or think straight. Therefore, he did the only thing he could think of, he gave in.

Memories upon memories bubbled to the surface and played out in Harry's mind. The majority of the memories were of Hogwarts and of happy times. One such memory was Harry meeting Ron.

A sudden flash of something quickly brought Harry out of it, though. He didn't know if Snape was trying to remind him or not. However, the message was clear. He couldn't just take a stroll down memory lane. He needed to learn this before more people he loved died for him.

When Harry watched a memory of Sirius and him hugging, he then quickly pushed Snape into the nearest memory possible. Unfortunately, that memory featured the lovely Dursleys and their _wonderful_ treatment of him. Forced to experience the night of living hell with Snape still watching everything, Harry knew it was the first of many nights where Vernon Dursley taught Harry his place in the family. Harry didn't even try to push Snape out. He didn't know why not, but he allowed Snape to view the memory. After all, it was time Harry revealed a deep dark secret of his own.

***

"_COME HERE, BOY!" an extremely fat and purple-faced man yelled a few feet from a four-year-old skinny boy with deep emerald eyes. Plump hands then snatched the young child's rags and yanked the boy backwards. "What did I tell you, boy?"_

"_Not to," the young child whispered with fear in his eyes._

"_And yet here you are disobeying me. Well, I'll teach you." The obese man smiled smugly. "Oh, I'm going to enjoy this." Throwing him forward, his smile turned even more sinister sneering at the boy._

***

The memory quickly changed to a memory that Harry couldn't recall. However, the change had been so sudden that Harry felt his stomach lurch, but the feeling passed shortly afterwards. He watched the unfamiliar memory, which was set in Dumbledore's office.

***

"_Worse kind of Muggles, remember? Minerva told you that when you first placed him there."_

"_We both know if the boy remains in our world, those who seek vengeance for their master's demise will stop at nothing until he is dead. Severus, what would you have me do to protect the child?"_

_Locking eyes with the greatest wizard in a century, a slightly younger Snape simply stated, "For you to give him to me, Albus."_


	21. Say

**A/N: **Song is by John Mayer. Enjoy.

**Say**

Snape sighed softly as he ended his spell. He glanced towards the young man whose mouth was wide-open while standing in front of him. Neither said anything for ten minutes. They only stared at one another, one with a look of confusion and the other with a look of annoyance.

"Honestly, Mr. Potter," Snape drawled before crossing his arms.

"You…but…he didn't…I'd have remembered."

"You are correct. The Headmaster did not allow me to have custody over you."

"When?" asked Harry.

"I do not understand."

"When was that memory?"

"Two hours after that lovely memory you pushed me into," Snape coolly replied.

"You knew?"

"To which part are you referring to, Mr. Potter?"

"All of it," Harry quickly replied.

"Indeed I knew the Muggles did not treat you as well as they should. However, I did not realize that their gross negligence of your care would quickly turn to abuse. Had I known that beforehand, Harry, I would have been more persistent about getting custody of you before then," Snape confessed.

"Then you all knew?"

"If by all you are referring to the Headmaster, Minerva, Hagrid, and myself, then yes we knew."

"You didn't do anything. Not a single one of you did anything to prevent it."

"Sadly, you are mistaken. You have only seen bits and pieces, Harry. I assure you we did the best we could."

"You could have kidnapped me."

"What possible good would have come out of that, Harry? The Aurora would have found me immediately and thrown me into Azkaban for kidnapping the Boy-Who-Lived. While I still disagree with the Headmaster's decision to leave you there, I must say that it has helped us in the long run." Snape then turned away and glanced out the window. He allowed himself to collect his thoughts before turning back. "Your father was spoiled by his parents as a child. He grew up believing that he was Merlin's gift of this world, which the professors reinforced every single time he bullied me at school. Do you remember when I told you that your father was jealous of my friendship with your mother?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"It became even worse our fourth-year with the Yule Ball. I had not the courage to ask your mother, so she waited for me to do so. James repeatedly asked her every second of the day, and every time she denied him politely. He foolishly got the idea in his thick skull that if I was preoccupied, then he could swoop in and your mother would be his. Therefore, he decided to switch one of my potion's ingredients. He did not know, though, that your mother sometimes used my ingredients to brew. His brilliant plan backfired horribly, Harry. He nearly killed her with that ridiculous stunt of his."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"Tell me, Harry. Have you ever thought for a second of switching Draco's ingredients?"

"Well, no, but—"

"And I do not doubt for a second that you ever would," Snape replied. "You are close to Granger and Weasley as a result that you did not have lots of childhood friends growing up. You crave the attention you so desired growing up. I understand, Harry. I understand better than most because I was like you." When Snape noticed Harry's eyes narrow in disbelief, he softly scoffed. "Yes, well, I will admit that I doubt you will ever make my mistake and join a dark wizard. However, I too had a difficult childhood. Do you understand me?" He then gently rested his hands on Harry's shoulder. "You are not a freak, Harry. If anything, they are for what they did to you. However, take my advice. Revenge is not as amazing as everyone makes it out to be. It only darkens your soul."

"If you could do your school years over—"

"I would have taken your mother's advice and not practiced the Dark Arts."

"Yeah, and you could have been my dad then," Harry said with a soft laugh.

"Now, there's a frightening thought," Snape replied chuckling. "Good night, Mr. Potter."


	22. Pocketful of Sunshine

**A/N: **Song is by Natasha Bedingfield. This chapter is kind of random, which I know, but I got the idea listening to the song. There is also some profanity in this chapter so you're forewarned. Enjoy.

**Pocketful of Sunshine**

When Harry awoke, it was to darkness. However, the smile instantly flooded his face. He was unsure why he was smiling, though. He knew it had to be a very good dream, but he couldn't remember what it was. He shrugged his shoulders and cast it out of his mind. He quickly got out of bed and tiptoed to the door. He had expected someone had closed it, but it wasn't. Again, he didn't think anything of it. Instead, he quietly crept downstairs for a midnight snack.

Harry had just managed to grab a cookie when he heard soft talking from the hallway. Relying on his instinct, he quickly hid underneath the counter. Whoever it was had to be looking for him to see him. He then sat back and ate his snack as the person walked in. However, he nearly groaned when he saw another set of feet next to the first.

"How many times must I apologize, Sinistra?"

"Oh, I don't know, Severus," hissed Professor Sinistra. "How about you apologizing until my cheek heals since it was your fault."

"As I said before, I did not mean—"

"Yep, I totally don't care," she replied taking a step closer to where Harry was hiding.

"Ah, taking a page from my book tonight, are we?"

"Well, I thought since you do 'bastard' so well, I'd show you 'bitch'."

"And this is different from how you usually act how?"

Harry nearly snickered. He had to admit Snape and Sinistra's fight was somewhat funny in a pathetic sort of way. However, he bit the back of his hand to prevent the laughter. He knew it wouldn't bode well for him if they caught him.

"Severus Snape," Professor Sinistra hissed.

"Aurora Sinistra," Snape replied in the same tone.

"Oh," Professor Sinistra growled. "I agree with the Weasley boy. You are a royal git!"

"Yes, well, I do believe git rhymes with twit, which is what you are."

"Bastard," she muttered quietly.

"Perhaps," Snape responded rather amused. "Has the Headmaster given you another mission or has he finally learned that you are by far the world's worst Slytherin?"

"Oh, you're one to talk."

"Unlike you, I have not nearly gotten myself killed every single time I go on a mission."

"No, but you love to flirt with danger."

"Is that why I apparate to clearings in the middle of the night only to return here suffering from the after-effects of a Cruciatus? Hmm…and all these times I believed it was due to some transgression of a past life," Snape drawled before chuckling. "After all, it would explain why I am stuck with you."

"Oh, is that right? Well, then I guess I'm just going to have to go since I'm not wanted."

"You are most definitely wanted, just not tonight."

"Wow. I knew I shouldn't have drunk that old bottle of Felix Felicis before bed."

"Why?"

"Because the current Head of Slytherin is flirting with me so I know I'm in hell."

"Indeed, Sinistra, you are in hell so that I may curse you a hundred times over. After all, I have nothing better to do with my life than to be near you."

"You're an ass."

"Yet again you're incorrect, Aurora. I am a Slytherin, which means if I were an animal I'd be a snake, not a donkey."

"Hmm…you look more like a bat to me," Professor Sinistra responded.

"Just hurry up," Snape replied in his annoyed tone.

"Why? Afraid Sirius will catch you with me?"

"I could care less if the mutt found me with you."

"Oh, really, Severus?" drawled Professor Sinistra.

"Indeed because if I told him that you were sharing my bed now, the mutt would be devastated."

"You boys always did have to see whose was bigger." Silence echoed then. "Let's go, Sev."

Harry watched the feet walk back out of the kitchen. He then stood up and mouthed 'Sev, yuck'.


	23. You & Me

**A/N: **Song is by Lifehouse. Enjoy.

**You & Me**

Snape sighed heavily as he quickly dressed the next morning. He hadn't necessarily had a bad night, but he couldn't shake Harry's memories out of his head. Albus was right. He and Harry were so alike, and that was what scared him. However, before he could finish his depressing thought, he heard the soft groan next to him. He glanced towards his companion and slowly bowed his head in acknowledgement.

"Leaving already, Severus?" Aurora softly drawled as she stretched.

"The sun will be rising soon."

"Ah, yes, can't be caught sleeping in," she teased. Her mood then turned serious. "Not that I'm complaining or anything, but could we renegotiate this agreement of ours?"

"You know my answer, Aurora, so do not try."

"I'm only stating that nobody knows about us. We've been extra careful."

"There is no 'us', Aurora. You know this."

"Well, if that was truly the case, then why'd you come see me last night, Severus? Because I know you didn't have a meeting that you needed to forget," Aurora responded slyly. "That is unless you take into consideration that you enjoy our times together, which would mean—"

"Do not try to outsmart me, Sinistra. You will lose."

"Oh, so last night was because of Harry then."

"No," Snape flatly stated.

"It's all right, Severus. You've used me for lesser reasons than that."

"I've never _used_ you," he quickly said defensively.

"My apologies," Aurora replied with a soft smile. "I misspoke. What I meant to say is that you've used our agreement for lesser reasons than your worries about Harry."

"I'm not worried."

"Hmm…that's not what I heard last night." She then quietly laughed at his glare. "Honestly, Severus, don't tell me no one has ever told you that you talk in your sleep."

"I what!" he exclaimed outraged.

"Oh, don't worry. You never say anything that's too embarrassing or life threatening. In fact, last night you only mumbled a couple of times."

"And just what did I say?"

"How you don't want Harry to become like you, which I know he won't. I see how he looks at you now. Severus, he respects you and perhaps even listens to you now. Obviously, you two have shared your deep dark secrets amongst each other. You know, I do remember telling you that if you just let him in a bit, that this might happen then. Hmm…seems as if I was right."

"Congratulations, Sinistra. You are now tied with Trelawney for the number of times you've predicted something accurately." She immediately rewarded him with a hard slap to his chest.

"Yes, and you've surpassed her in the number of Firewhiskeys drunk. Congratulations, Severus. You're an alcoholic." Aurora then drew in a deep breath. "So what's on the agenda for today?"

"Occlumency," Snape replied evenly.

"Ah, fun, fun," she responded. "I wonder if he gets the terrible headaches like I did when you tried and failed to teach me."

"I—I do not know."

"You mean you haven't noticed because you've been trying to get accustomed to this strange feeling in that cold heart of yours. Just so you know, Severus, it is love. You're starting to care for him. Trust me. I can see it in your face when you're near him. It isn't necessarily a bad thing."

"I am in constant contact with the Dark Lord. I believe I would disagree with you on that point."

"Yes, but the Dark Lord doesn't know you like I do, Severus." When he narrowed his eyes, she continued. "Well, I could be wrong here, but I doubt you've ever lowered your barriers or your mask around him. I must admit that I love it when I see the real you, Severus. You really are quite handsome underneath that mask you wear. But what do I know?"

Snape took one last glance at Aurora before briskly walking out of her rooms. He was very silent as he left. The sun brightly shone in as the door closed behind him.


	24. The Red

**A/N: **The song is by Chevelle. Enjoy.

**The Red**

"We're having another Occlumency lesson? But we just finished this one," Harry whined.

"Unless you have a better idea, Mr. Potter," Snape drawled. He was growing tired of the boy's constant whining every few seconds. However, Harry was a fourteen-year-old boy. It was just something he should have expected in hindsight.

"Well, we could do something fun."

"Fun…?" Snape repeated staring at the young man as if he grew a set of horns.

"Yeah, like…well, I don't know anything specific right now, but you know…fun. Come on, Snape. You have to do something fun." Harry's eyes then lit up before he snapped his fingers towards the older wizard. "I bet you like Scrabble."

"Scrabble…?"

"Oh, um…well…it's a Muggle game."

"I know what it is," Snape replied rather annoyed. "Why do you believe I'd ever like it?"

"Well, you know a lot of big words so I just thought you'd like it because you'd beat everyone."

"Life is not always about winning, Harry. However, I see your point. I must disappoint you, though. I have been told that I live a rather monotonous life."

"Oh," Harry said before glancing down at the floor.

"Is there some reason you are intentionally delaying our lessons?"

"It's just that these lessons make me have a horrible headache afterwards."

"Ah, I see. Then perhaps you are right, Harry. Perhaps a break is in order."

"Really…?" said Harry hesitantly. "But—"

"The lessons are vital to our success, yes, but so is your health if that be physically or mentally speaking. However, if you desire to play some game, then might I suggest Wizard's Chess instead?"

"Well, I kind of wanted to get away from that," Harry quietly said. He noticed Snape's questioning look, but the older wizard never asked. "Maybe we could just…you know…talk?"

"I am not known for small talk, Harry."

"It's fine. I don't think I want that." Harry then lowered his head. "You know how you said we're a lot alike?" He quickly glanced at Snape and noticed the curt nod. "Well, what did you mean?"

"I believe you know precisely what I meant, Harry," Snape responded calmly.

"So you think we're alike because Malfoy and I remind you of my dad and you?"

"That and how similar our childhoods were."

"Oh," Harry quietly said.

"I am correct in my assumption that it was not the only time that horrid Muggle assaulted you?" Harry slowly nodded. "Yes, so I thought. Harry, listen to me. It does not make you weak because a Muggle abused you. You were a child. No one could ever expect you to fight back against a fully-grown Muggle especially one as large as him. You are not at fault. If anyone is, then it is the Headmaster and myself who are to blame."

"But when I came back after my first year—"

"You felt the urge to strike back at him magically," Snape finished saying.

"Yeah," Harry instantly replied. He then stared at the older wizard. "How did you know?"

"Before I answer that, I would like it if you answered a question of mine. Is this acceptable?"

"Uh…yeah, sure," Harry said.

"What is your assumption of my blood purity?" At the sight of Harry's confusion, Snape clarified, "Do you believe me to be a pureblood or a half-blood?"

"That's easy. You're a pureblood," Harry responded. "I mean, everyone knows that Slytherin only accepts purebloods into their house."

"A common misconception, Mr. Potter," Snape coolly replied. "I am in fact a half-blood. My mother was a pureblood witch, while my father was a Muggle. You see, Harry, my father was a lot like your Uncle Vernon. A drop of whiskey in him, and all hell would break loose. He assaulted my mother and me numerous times because we had used magic in front of him. Another similarity among us, I believe. I still remember the feeling of power I felt after first arriving back from Hogwarts my first year. I felt that same urge you did. The urge to make him pay for all everything he ever did."


	25. Someday

**A/N: **Song is by Nickelback. Enjoy.

**Someday**

After Snape finished speaking, he stared at the young man in front of him. Harry was regarding him with a strange look. It wasn't as if he didn't believe Snape, but it was more he was starting to understand certain things about Snape's personality. Truthfully, Harry's look of understanding unsettled Snape more than anything did. However, he ignored his unsettled feeling.

"So your dad…you know…hurt you because you were a wizard?" Harry asked quietly.

"Yes."

"Did Dumbledore know?"

"I am sure he had his suspicions at the time, but nothing definitive in order to act. I was rather good at hiding the signs from others. A trait I see we have in common again." A series of memories flashed in Snape's mind. Some of the memories were of his school years, while others were of Harry's. He closed his eyes and embraced the short trip down memory lane. He remembered casting a glamour charm before the Welcoming Feast his third year in order to hide the dark purple bruises his father had left as a farewell 'present'. He then saw the image of Harry wearing a long sleeve shirt in the middle of a hot muggy July day so that he carefully hid the fingerprint bruises from the prying neighbors.

"What happened to him, your dad, I mean?" Harry's voice asked filtering through his memories.

Snape felt a lump rise up in the back of his throat. It wasn't out of love or any of that nonsense. Instead, it was his logical side warning him not to divulge the true nature of his father's death. After all, only two people knew the truth. However, he had already shared so much with the boy, and it wasn't as if the boy didn't already know he, Severus Snape, was a murderer. So drawing in a breath to brace for Harry's reaction, he faced the young man and spoke.

"In attempt to prove my loyalty to the Dark Lord after being accepted into his ranks, I brought my father in front of the Dark Lord and tortured him until he took his final breath." Snape stared at the young man to see some sort of reaction from the boy. There was none, though. "That is why I know that revenge is not as wonderful as others may spout to you. It changed nothing, Harry."

The wave of memories of that night slammed into Snape like a freight train. He couldn't push the memories back in time for their onslaught. He watched helplessly as his memory played out. A younger version of himself around the age of fifteen angrily threw a hook-nosed man roughly into the mud at the feet of the Dark Lord. He heard his younger self proudly announce that he had a Muggle worthy of never-ending torture. Then the sinister chuckling followed by the Dark Lord's lies and praises at Snape's excellent job of capturing such a fine specimen. The terrified Muggle begged and pleaded for his life as he stared up at Snape's younger self. However, his fifteen-year-old cold self paid no attention before casting his first ever Unforgivable. The horrific screams chilled the air as the Muggle withered in the mud and curled himself into a tight ball in efforts to escape the pain. The haunting screams lasted for what seemed a lifetime before the Muggle finally stilled. The young Severus Snape then knelt in front of the badly shaking Muggle and easily yanked him up to his feet. 'You don't deserve this,' the younger version sneered towards the Muggle before casting the ultimate Unforgivable, the Killing Curse.

"But he couldn't hurt you anymore," Harry quietly replied as he broke through Snape's thoughts.

"He could not hurt me before then. I left following my third-year. My father and I had not seen each other since that time. However, as soon as I received my Mark, I knew precisely who deserved to die. I apologize for my following words, but you must understand. I still remember his screams as he withered in agony from the Cruciatus. I remember him begging for his life as I had done so many times before him. Never before then had I felt so powerful in comparison to him, a mere Muggle."

"I understand, Snape," Harry whispered. His face was white as a ghost. "But like you said, I'm not going to join Voldemort's ranks. I'm better than that."

"Yes, you are," replied Snape. "Perhaps we should continue our lesson."

"Do you mind if I ask you one last question?"

"I do not."

"Um…well…are you…um…"

"Spit it out, Potter. We don't have all day."

"Are you and Sinistra dating?"


	26. Whisper

**A/N: **Song is by Evanescence. Enjoy.

**Whisper**

Harry stared uncomfortably under Snape's gaze. He could tell that he had upset the man greatly. It was just an instinct from all their turbulent years together. However, Snape's silence made him even more uncomfortable. Usually, the man was halfway through his tirade by now. Thought, here Snape stood just staring at him.

"I'm sorry," Harry quickly apologized.

"Do not apologize," Snape instantly replied. "I…I do not know."

"How can't you know?"

"It is a rather complicated issue, Potter."

"Either you are or you aren't, Snape. Nothing complicated about that."

"You are a fourteen year old boy, Potter. You know nothing about adult relationships."

"Maybe not, but at least I know I'm not dating a girl."

"No, but you wished you were with Ms. Chang."

Harry's mouth dropped. How did Snape know about that? He knew that he didn't go around advertising that he wanted Cho badly. He then noticed Snape's eyes roll.

"Honestly, Potter, all of Britain knows about you and Ms. Chang. It is not a secret by any means. After all, need I bring up the fiasco concerning basic actions such as swallowing your drink? Yes, Potter, I noticed your stupidity all the way up there at the Head Table. I must say that we were quite amused."

"Oh yeah," Harry snapped. "Well, anyone with a brain can see that you're snogging Sinistra!"

"Is that right, Mr. Potter?" Snape growled.

"After all, why else would the Bloody Baron haunt the Astronomy Tower? He's your spy. Isn't he?" Harry watched as Snape chuckled ruefully.

"Bravo, Potter, you've surpassed even my lowest assumption of your stupidity. What the Bloody Baron does or does not do is not anyone of your concern. It does not deal with your or me."

"Oh, so you didn't know then?" Harry asked quietly.

"That he's been haunting the Astronomy Tower? What do you think, Potter? He is my House's ghost, not my child. Nowhere in my job descriptions does it state that I must babysit a ghost. Now, unless you know something I don't, keep your thoughts to yourself."

"Aren't you the least bit curious, Snape?"

"No. It is not our concern, Potter."

"But—"

"How many times must I say it? It is not our concern. Now, we've delayed ourselves quite long enough, wouldn't you agree?"

Harry slowly nodded and sighed. He hated Occlumency. It always gave him a terrible headache afterwards that felt like a Bludger hit him in the head. However, Snape had a point. Who was he to worry about a ghost? If Sir Nicholas could take care of himself, so could the Bloody Baron.

"Fine, Snape," Harry replied. "Let's get this over with."

"Clear your mind," Snape instructed.

"Yeah, because if it didn't work the first two-hundred times I tried, it's bound to work the two-hundredth and one time."

"That will be quite enough of your smartass remarks, Potter."

"You're just grumpy that I know your secret," Harry replied smartly. Seconds later, he dropped to the ground panting heavily as Snape forcefully pushed into his mind. Harry hadn't prepared for the mental attack, which made his attempts to block Snape's mind futile. The attacks didn't last long, though. Snape quickly pulled back out of Harry's mind, leaving the teen gasping for air.

"Let that be a lesson to you to do as I say, Potter. Now do we understand one another?" Harry didn't respond. "I will attempt again. Block me this time, Potter, or you will be on the floor all evening."

Harry quickly tried to empty his mind. However, when it came time for him to show that it was empty, his mind filled up with thousands of fleeting thoughts. Snape easily bypassed every weak barrier Harry managed to create.

"We're going to be here forever," Snape drawled before glaring at Harry. "Again," he said.


	27. Stronger

**A/N: **Song is by Kanye West. Enjoy.

**Stronger**

Snape and Harry had been practicing Occlumency for nearly six hours straight, and they were not any closer than when they started. Snape was having difficulty keeping his temper reigned in so he didn't push the Gryffindor over the edge again. In fact, he had made the young man upset at one point that he released some accidental magic. Luckily, Dumbledore had removed the Trace from the boy. Otherwise, the Order would have some explaining to do.

"Enough," Snape commanded as he knelt down. He had to admit that he now had a headache that he guessed rivaled Harry's one. He silently massaged his temples and glanced towards the Gryffindor. "I take it that your headache has worsened?"

"Yeah, sort of," Harry replied breathing deeply. "What am I doing wrong, sir?"

"You're clearing your mind?" asked Snape. He watched the young man sharply nod. "Then nothing from what I can tell," he said. "I can feel you trying, but it is as if something holds you back."

"Then I'm never going to get this," Harry whined.

"You _will_ learn this," Snape stubbornly responded. "Even if it kills me in the process," he muttered under his breath. He had managed to dull his headache slightly. "Are you well enough to try again?" He quickly looked the boy over, but Harry was like him so he knew that the Gryffindor most likely was very effective in hiding his pain.

"Yeah, let's try again."

Snape drew in a deep breath to center himself before casting his spell. He quickly felt himself enter Harry's mind. If he ever truly showed his emotions, he would have smiled when he felt the strong presence pushing him back. Harry was trying. He knew he was. He could feel it. When Harry had nearly pushed him out of that memory, Snape found himself quickly hurtled into another memory. He could feel the strong emotions unfortunately that surrounded it. It wouldn't do either of them any good if they tried with this memory so Snape tried to go onto the next. However, something held him back. He tried again, and again failed to reach the next memory. His eyes narrowed before he sighed. Perhaps experiencing this memory, whatever it was, would give some answers to why Harry couldn't block him.

Glancing around, Snape took in his surroundings in the memory. His eyes narrowed at the darkness and the slight pressure to his wrist. He could tell that both were a part of the memory. Soft sounds slowly reached his ears. Someone was near him whispering in Latin. Snape whirled around trying to find the person, but found no one. He then focused on the words and quickly translated them. It was a spell of some kind, a protection spell if he was right, but there was something else. The spell was unfamiliar to Snape, but he knew it used old magic.

A brief flash of light outside lit the room up for a few seconds. Snape's eyes instantly narrowed on the crib that illuminated for a split second. He walked closer to it and waited for another flash. He didn't have to wait long. He glanced down into the crib and sighed when his eyes met a small infant. It was an early memory of Harry's then. Another flash of light from outside allowed Snape to notice the crimson drop on the infant's wrist. However, before he could notice anything else, muffled sounds of people arguing caught his attention. He whirled around just as James Potter and his wife walked in.

"I should've known. I mean, just look at him. He looks just like him," James snarled.

"It's not like I wanted this, James. I just thought you should know," Lily replied angrily.

"It's a little late for that, isn't it?" James snapped. He then angrily threw his hands up out of frustration. "So tell me, Evans. What possible reason could ever compel you to sleep with Snivellus?"

Snape's eyes narrowed. He had to have heard that wrong. He knew with absolute certainty that he never slept with Lily. Confusion quickly settled in. This had to be a false memory. Someone implanted it in the boy's mind to throw him off, but who—

"Are you enjoying yourself yet, Severus?" a familiar voice said behind him. He turned around and came face to face with the Dark Lord. "The old coot's making you teach the boy Occlumency, is he? You won't succeed, my little traitor. The boy belongs to me." The Dark Lord then smiled sinisterly. "You'll have to forgive me, my little traitor, but Harry and I have some things to discuss in private." Seconds later, the Dark Lord threw Snape violently out of Harry's mind with such force that he slammed hard against the wall. Wasting no time, he quickly scrambled downstairs to inform the Headmaster. This was bad, very bad.


	28. It Ends Tonight

**A/N: **Song is by All-American Rejects. Enjoy! :)

**It Ends Tonight**

Harry instantly felt the sudden shift as the darkness settled into his mind. For so long, he had felt so angry. Now, he felt as if nothing could hurt him. He felt a strange feeling course through his veins as if he had just recharged. However, he also felt something evil in himself.

"Hello, Harry," the familiar voice hissed in the deep recesses of his mind.

"Voldemort!" he yelled. "Where are you? Show yourself, you coward."

"Coward, am I? You have spent too much time with Severus, Harry. He is the only coward that we both know." Loud laughter echoed around the darkness. "Has he told you his deep dark secret yet? How he pleaded with me to save your mother's life? He begged me on his knees, Harry. He couldn't care less what happened to you or your father, but for your mother he'd give everything."

"I don't care, Voldemort," Harry yelled back.

"You don't care how his thoughts were impure about her. You don't care, Harry? Oh my, Harry. What would your dear sweet Mudblood mother think of you?"

"She'd be proud of me."

"For consorting with the man who killed her and your father? You truly believe that, Harry?"

"Go to hell, Voldemort!"

"Only if you come with, Harry." More loud sinister laughter followed. "We could be great together, Harry. You know this. We could teach them all a lesson."

"Shut up," Harry snarled.

"Make me, Harry. Make me shut up. After all, Severus isn't here to protect you anymore. You know, in hindsight I should have known about him. He did love your Mudblood mother!"

"SHUT UP!" Harry screamed.

"Make me, Harry. Prove to everyone how powerful the Great Harry Potter is, or show everyone how weak you truly are. Come on, Harry. Prove that you really are the Boy-Who-Lived."

"Severus Snape is ten times the wizard you are, Voldemort," Harry snarled. Fierce shrieks then echoed throughout the darkness before Harry felt a tremendous amount of pain spread throughout his entire body. Every nerve was sparking with energy from the Cruciatus Curse that Voldemort somehow casted through Harry's scar. The pain lasted for what seemed to be an eternity.

"You will break before I am done with you, Harry. You will beg and plead for me to finish you, but I will not. I must admit that I wish I could see the look on that traitor's face as you writhe in sheer agony, but I will settle on your screams."

"The only one who will be begging and pleading, Voldemort, will be you."

"Silly boy, do you truly believe you can vanquish me, the true Dark Lord?"

Harry opened his mouth to respond, but felt a presence quickly yank him violently out of his own mind. It took him a few seconds before he realized where he was. He started to gasp for air as everything hit him like a freight train. He glanced around to see who had pulled him out. It was then he noticed Snape kneeling on the floor grabbing his left forearm. The pain was visible on the older wizard's face.

"Sir, I have to—"

"You'll…you'll do no such thing, Potter," Snape said through grit teeth. "You aren't prepared."

"I have to do something, Snape!" Harry shouted back. "I can't let him win…not again." When Snape suddenly grabbed Harry's face and forced him to look into his eyes, Harry gasped. He had never seen the man act so animalistic before.

"And I can't allow you to throw away Lily's sacrifice! She gave her life for you, Potter!"

"Please…" Harry begged. "Please, Snape. I have to do this!"

"No! No you don't! You don't have to do anything, Potter! This isn't your war!"

"The moment he killed my mum and dad, Snape, he made it my war!" Harry snarled back. He then angrily shoved Snape back. "I have to do something, Snape. I have to stop him! I'm not going to let anyone else die because of me." Darkness quickly settled into his mind as Voldemort regained control.

"Together," Snape's voice said cutting through the darkness, "not alone."

The moment Harry saw Voldemort appear in his mind, he stepped forward. He drew in a deep breath. He knew he wasn't prepared. Snape was right, but Harry knew one thing. He'd win in the end.

"It ends tonight, Riddle!"

**A/N: **The end...just kidding. Sorry. Please don't hurt me. :)


	29. March Out of the Darkness

**A/N: **The song is by Papa Roach. Enjoy.

**March Out of the Darkness**

Snape glanced down where Harry was lying on the floor. He could see the pain in the young man's face as Harry battled the Dark Lord in his mind. Snape drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. Harry was right. They needed to end this before someone else died. He glanced at Harry one last time before apparating to where he knew the Dark Lord was.

Snape drew his wand and grit his teeth the exact second he found himself in the dark manor. He could feel the Dark Lord's foreboding presence. He was close. Snape took a few seconds to glance around to see if anything in the room he could use to his advantage. However, there were only robes in the room. He then heard footsteps from outside of the room, which made him instantly blend into the shadows. The door slowly opened up, revealing a young man that Snape recognized almost instantly.

"Sir…?" the young man hesitantly said.

Snape remained quiet, though. He wasn't certain as to what the young man was planning, but he wasn't about to get himself killed either. He continued to watch his former Slytherin student glance around the room. When he noticed the young man lower his wand, Snape narrowed his eyes. He had never seen the young man ever lower his guard like that before now.

"Any luck, Nott?" a young woman asked as she stepped into the light. She had tied her hair back, but she too was easily recognizable. She would be a seventh year this upcoming term.

"No. I don't think he's coming, Mary."

"He'll come. He won't be able to stop himself," Mary responded before sighing heavily. "Come on. Let's keep checking before they realize we're missing."

Snape watched his two former Slytherin students walk silently back into the hallway. He muttered a soft Invisibility spell on himself before quietly following them out. He waited a few seconds to ensure they were moving away. When he was certain they hadn't noticed his presence, Snape whirled around and ran towards the throne room. It didn't take him long to reach it.

Again, he blended into the shadows. Snape glanced around and narrowed his eyes at the peculiar scene. No one was in the room guarding the Dark Lord. He then glanced around to find Nagini. When he found the massive snake's corpse in front of the Dark Lord's feet, he felt uneasy. The entire scene screamed that something was wrong. When a hand gently rested on his back, a few seconds later, he quickly whirled around with his wand drawn. He was in mid-cast when he noticed it was only Sinistra.

"How did you find me?" he whispered.

"Nott," she whispered back. She then glanced at the Dark Lord. "It's too easy."

"Yes, so I've realized," he drawled.

"You know, I hate when that happens," she said motioning towards Nagini. Snape quickly latched onto her wrist and painfully yanked her towards him. Thankfully, she made no sound, though.

"Quiet unless you wish to alert them that we're over here," he snarled. She yanked her arm back before rubbing it. He decided then not to pay attention to her. That, unfortunately, was his downfall.

Seconds later, when Snape went to inform Sinistra to remain there, he found she wasn't there. He glanced around and found the foolish witch pointing a wand at the Dark Lord. Growling under his breath, Snape leapt towards her before she could cast anything. She was successfully ruining his chance to give Harry an advantage. His hand latched onto her again just as she muttered her spell. Within seconds, a bright light enveloped the room effectively blinding them both as they fell to the floor.

The ground rumbled and shook violently. Large sections of the ceiling started to collapse and sent it spiraling towards the floor. Columns crashed down and smashed into various little pieces. Somehow lightning started to arc around the room electrifying anything that moved. A large expanding bubble quickly shrouded the room in darkness.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Snape bellowed. The bubble effectively trapped them. He glared at her with the fiercest glare he had. That witch was going to cost him everything because of her stupidity.

"I don't know," she replied startled. "Albus told me to cast it. He didn't tell me what it did."

Snape glanced back towards the Dark Lord. The bubble had already enveloped him. It was now closing in on him and Sinistra. Snape glanced at her and saw her fear. Unfortunately, his temper already was in control so he couldn't prevent the words from slipping out of his mouth. "Well, congratulations, Aurora," he sneered as the bubble neared them. "You've finally managed to kill us."


	30. Nothing Else I Can Say

**A/N: **Song is by Lady Gaga.

**Nothing Else I Can Say**

Harry was losing…badly. Voldemort had managed to extort every weakness he had. However, Harry continued to try to block him from learning anything else. The Order needed him. His friends needed him. The entire world needed Harry to win.

That was why after the tenth time of Voldemort throwing him to the floor in their mentally created room, Harry panted heavily and slowly drew himself back up to his feet. He was exhausted physically and mentally. He could barely think anymore. However, he gathered every bit of strength left. He steeled himself up and glared at Voldemort.

"Poor pathetic Potter," Voldemort sneered. "Nobody can save you, boy. Why don't you just give up, Harry? They won't think any less of you. Well, any less than they already do." He then laughed sinisterly before walking closer to him. "Tell me, Harry. Where's your great Savior Severus now?"

Harry opened his mouth to yell some wonderful insults that would be worthy to be Snape's one when he caught a strange light behind Voldemort. Someone was helping him. The grin instantly took over Harry's face while he bravely looked Voldemort in the eyes.

"There," Harry said pointing towards the white light. Seconds later, the light burst and Harry felt something or someone yank him violently out of his mind. The feeling was so fierce that everything blurred past him and he felt as if he couldn't breathe while reality reappeared.

"Breathe, my boy. That's right, Harry. Deep breaths," a gentle and familiar voice whispered as Harry slowly regained consciousness.

It took a few seconds before Harry could open his eyes. He instantly glanced around confused. He was in the Infirmary at Hogwarts. He opened his mouth to speak, but was instantly silenced by Dumbledore who held up a hand.

"All in good time, my boy, but you must first rest," Dumbledore said with a smile.

"Snape…?" Harry instantly caught the sadness in Dumbledore's eyes. "No…he couldn't…"

"We do not know, Harry. The Order is searching, but so far they've found nothing to state either way as to what Severus's fate is."

"Sir, what…how did he help me?"

"I regret, my boy, that it wasn't just Severus who helped you defeat Voldemort."

"I…I don't understand, sir."

"I sent Professor Sinistra to aid Severus. It seems they both managed to cast my spell."

"Sir, but I don't understand. What was the spell?"

"A spell that I learned from an old friend and that is all I will say, Harry." Dumbledore had a haunted look on his face, but the look quickly disappeared. "Ah, I believe there are some people who wish to see you." He then glanced towards the doorway where a group of people stood staring. "While I believe Madam Pomfrey will have my hide, I take it you wish to see them also?" Harry nodded. "Very well," Dumbledore replied with a smile. He then quietly motioned towards them and stepped back.

"OH, HARRY!" Hermione was the first to reach him and quickly wrapped her arms around him. She then pulled back and looked him over. "You're all right?"

"Yeah, Hermione, I'm fine," replied Harry smiling. He glanced towards Ron who rolled his eyes at the witch's actions. "Hey, Sirius," he happily said to his godfather. He smiled at everyone else before feeling a pit in his stomach. The smile turned into a frown as his thoughts darkened. "He didn't want me to fight Voldemort alone," he quietly said.

"Well, Snape always did protect his own," Sirius replied. "It was one of his better qualities."

"Getting sentimental, are we, Black?" a familiar voice said.

Harry's head instantly snapped towards the voice. Never before did he ever think he'd smile when he saw Snape, but today he did. The man looked like hell. He had a large gash to the side of his face. His arm was badly broken and his right side was bleeding profusely.

"You're alive."

"Barely," Snape replied in his usual sarcastic way. He then grimaced softly before rolling up his left sleeve. The ugly black Dark Mark was gone, revealing a bare forearm. "Thank you, Harry."

"Oh, what…I don't get any thanks? Come on, Severus. If I hadn't cast that spell—"

"I wouldn't be bleeding then, Sinistra," Snape growled. Yep…all was now well at Hogwarts.

**A/N: **Yes, I know the ending is worthy of a Troll rating. I couldn't think of anything else to say in order for it to end. Thank you for sticking with me, though. I hoped you enjoyed it as much as I did. The sequel is now up and is entitled "Potions and Stars."


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